Camel hose

When a man wears too tight of pants and his dick is buldging out.

Oh no.. Julie, Check out that guy's camel hose. It's really buldging out!

Hose nose

One who snorts cocaine frequently .

Hey ,that was my line, your such a hose nose joe.

hose monster

A (preferably) Woman who cannot get enough COCK in her mouth....

That beyotch was a total HOSE MONSTER.... Damn near sucked a ball outta my sack.......

hose happy

When a man only seems to be thinking about one thing...dick. Looking at dick, stroking a dick, smelling dick, and sucking dick.

Josh and Wayne are two of John's co-workers at the office. After seeing John whistling on his way out of the office at lunch, his two co-workers have a discrete chat.

Josh: "I know why John stays in such a GOOD mood in the afternoon."

Wayne: "Yeah, why does he have that extra spring in his step?"

Josh: "A friend told me that he likes to meet his partner, Mick, at home for lunch." He leans over and whispers "Before heading back to work they both have a huge helping of tube steak and gravy for dessert."

Wayne: "That helps explain the breath mints that he likes to keep in his pocket. Those hi-protein desserts really do linger on your breath."

Josh: "That may also explain why I keep catching him looking at his watch and my crotch as it gets closer to lunch."

Wayne: "It must be the pants. Those denims hug you in all the right places. After looking at your package all morning, John must be going home to make Mick sooo very happy."

Josh: "Yeah, hose happy! I can see a growing bulge down there in your wranglers partner. Might you be feeling a little hose happy?"

Wayne: "Maybe."

Josh: "I think it's time for OUR lunch break!"

Spawkly Hoses

A joke referring to "sparkley horses" said to make fun of Shakespearian English and the phrase "mo horses" in MacBeth.

Dan: "Mo horses!"
Irene: "They're spawkly hoses!"

cheese hose

unwashed male genitalia

most of the homeless population suffer from a cheese hose

monkey hosing

Vigorously tugging of your own or a friends foreskin and stretching it a considerable distance. Usually done whilst staring at a banana and grinning like a fool.

His constant monkey hosing risked him being locked up in the zoo.