I didn't know I was playing church league softball

A phrase meaning you have received a weak alcoholic drink. Coined by a Josh Fieler in the Lexington, Ky area in early 2011

Here is your bourbon and coke sir.

I'm sorry, I didn't know I was playing church league softball.

I remember when I had my first beer.

A sentence said when one is acting very immature to the point of extreme annoyance, as in how a young person may act when they have their first alcoholic beverage. Can also be said to somebody who is acting irritatingly foolish when drinking, or to a lightweight at drinking. Taken from a line Will Ferrell says to John C. Reilly in the comedy "Step Brothers".

1. Guy 1: "Dude, that Coors Light is gettin' to me!"

Guy 2: "Yeeeeah, I remember when I had my first beer..."

2. Guy 1: "You're such a butthead."

Guy 2: "Wow. I remember when I had my first beer."

do I look like I know what a jpeg is

The best quote from hank hill.
This quote was said in the episode The Fat and the Furious

Do I look like I know what a jpeg is?

I remember when I fell off my dinosaur

A term originating in Montgomery and Bucks County. It's largely seen as a derogatory word towards women. It's used to call a specific women a useless slut.

Jill: Hey Billy I am so sick of you, you are such an asshole.

Billy: Wow Jill all I know is I remember when I fell off my dinosaur and I am glad we are through.
Jill: You are such an asshole.

The Last Time I did that, I Ended Up Kissing a Guy

The most interesting thing to say when someone asks for you to do something.

Melinda: So Craig, can you try to get people to sign this petition?

Craig: You know, I would love to help out, but the last time I did that, I ended up kissing a guy.

or...

Cynthia: Vincent, I dare you to kiss me.

Vincent: But The Last Time I did that, I Ended Up Kissing a Guy.

Cynthia: .........

Can i put my balls in your jaw? Balls in your jaw. Can i- Can i?

Can i?

Can i put my balls in your jaw? Balls in your jaw. Can i- Can i?

I feel like I had a real G moment today

Quote by Serena Williams at the conclusion of her victory speech at the 2010 Australian Open. Obviously a reference to the Gatorade commercials, but can be (and will be) taken out of context.

(wins AO) Serena Williams: I feel like I had a real G moment today!

(smokes some weed) Serena Williams: I feel like I had a real G moment today!