Carpet jerking

Jerking off in someone else’s room

Stop carpet jerking and get the fuck outta my room

Carpet cleaner

You or your partner grow out your pubes and other body hair for 7 months then drink cleaning supplies and throw the resulting liquid up on the hair of the recipient after this rub liquid in good wait 30 mins then proceed to lick them clean.

I gave that bitch a good old carpet cleaner.

Carpet kush

weed that has been dropped on the floor of a car, and is then smoked at another time

pot head 1: Dude, i wanna get high but i dont have any money

pot head 2: dude, look on the floor of my car, there might be some carpet kush we could smoke

Carpet Wiper

Wiping your rusty sheriff's badge like a maniac after a nice solid bowel movement. Instead of using small strokes to ensure a clean behind, a carpet wiper makes multiple aggressive passes with the same TP. It makes a similar sound to cleaning a carpet stain.

This guy at the office makes me uncomfy when I hear him wipe. He's a carpet wiper for sure & I'm concerned about the status of his balloon knot.

carpet frog

A fart. Passing flatulence.

“Jack’s been passing carpet frogs all morning after those beans...”

Carpet nurse

A nurse who works in administrative offices, makes rules for bedside nurses with no idea what it's really like.

"She's a carpet nurse, she'd never do hands on patient care".

Carpet Walker

A derogatory term used for office workers that work in a production or warehouse environment. This includes engineers, sales people and any sort of middle management who spend most of the day on the computer. They are typically detached from the production/shipping process, lack knowledge of the time needed to complete projects and are notorious for making promises to customers that they don't have to keep.

The term comes from the floor they spend most of their time on, usually being a carpeted office as apposed to the cold, hard concrete of the warehouse floor.

Freight: "The new sales guy keeps asking me to ship things out today"
Manager: "We've specifically told him 3-5 days for shipping"
Freight: "Yeah he's a carpet walker, always making promises he doesn't have to keep"
Manager: "He's going to get fired"