Table 1

noun, often attributive
A retort so dominant, complete, and masterful that any reply would be unwarranted and futile.

My Table 1 ended the debate once and for all.

table math

when you are out in a group at a bar or restaurant and there is a shared bill and no one has change(usually for a twenty) or the correct amount for their portion of the tab . Thus follows a complex series of illogical but correct money swaps to come out with the correct amount for the bill plus tip.

Lets settle the bill. I think we need some table math. You give me a twenty, i will put in fifteen and cover you five on your tab and then you give him a ten. That should make us even.

table drugs

drug residue left over after doing drugs on a table

ie: yo scrape me table drugs

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clubroom table

Noun: the table in the clubroom; a black hole for edibles. Any food placed here WILL be eaten by anyone walking by it. To put food on the clubroom table is to sacrifice any or all sole right to such food.

Verb, "to clubroom table": the act of placing food on the clubroom table. Clubroom tabling food is only a good idea when you are bribing friends to crew your show under the guise of being "friendly".

"Mate I just Clubroom Tabled thirty quid of Sainsbury's snacks. Terrible idea. My producer will never agree to reimburse me."

"Shit dude that's a lot of pizza. Just shove it on the clubroom table, it'll be gone in an hour."

table poaching

The act of patrons staking out and claiming a table in a "seat yourself" lounge/restaurant before staff is given a fair chance to buss it off or previous customers leave. This usually happens during a dinner-rush.

This results in the server becoming annoyed and having to awkwardly reach over and make "small talk" with customers as they wipe off the previous mess.

Server 1: " My table is just about to leave, they're getting their coats on. I just have to ring-up a Mastercard, and I can clear it off..."

Server 2: "Too late. Check out the dude at the entrance. Definitely table poaching. He's making a bee-line to 106. Aaaaand, yup, he just asked your table if he could sit there."

Table cloth

A Table cloth is a piece of material which is used to cover and protect the table.

Mike: Hey Jimmy I got a new table.

Jimmy: Cool, you should totally get a table cloth for it.

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periodic table

menstrual calendar.

She had her periodic table commited to memory and the elements, this night, were perfectly aligned. Nestor was gonna be a Daddy, whether he liked it or not.

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