One in the hand is worth two in the bush

A solo wank is better than two shags

Do you fancy a shag my lovely? Erm to be honest ' I'm going home to sort myself out ... You know what they say ... One in the hand is worth two in the bush'

1👍 6👎

Is the fucking you're getting worth the fucking you're taking?

Is the amount of pussy you're getting from your old lady worth the amount of bullshit you have to endure from her?

Example 1) Tom: Laura's pissed at me for going to Hooters with you guys last week and has ragged on me about it for days. And I'm cut off too, I guess I'll have to jack off for awhile.
Bob: Is the fucking you're getting worth the fucking you're taking?

Example 2) Bob: Shirley's so pissed at me for not mowing the god damn lawn, that she won't give up any pussy! I'm so sick of her shit, what a fuckin nag. I think I'll go beat off in her purse.
Tom: Is the fucking you're getting worth the fucking you're taking?

Example 3) Tom: That fuckin bitch still won't fuck me, three weeks after we went to Hooters. I guess I'll go fuck that slutty Hooters waitress that gave me her number while I was staring at her bodacious boobs.
Bob: Is the fucking you're getting worth the fucking you're taking?

10👍 14👎

detecting multiple leviathan class lifeforms in the region. Are you certain whatever you’re doing is worth it?

Following this PDA warning there are two scenarios.

A: you ignore it and shit your pants to a reaper leviathan seconds later.
B: You turn around and your pants get to live another day

PDA: “Detecting multiple leviathan class lifeforms in the region. Are you certain whatever you’re doing is worth it?”

You: “I can’t possibly imagine what could go wro-AHHHHH,SH** YOU CU*T GO F*** YOURSELF, NO NO NO NO NO JESUS.”

Your seamoth: *Dies*
Your pants: *Turn brown*
A hole in your monitor: *Appears*

Penney's Worth

Penney’s worth: Much greater than a penny’s worth or anyone’s “two cents.” Imagine one million dollars multiplied by 1,735. Well, a "Penney's worth" is infinitely more than that. It takes someone very special to posess this ability to have a "Penney's worth".

Oh hey, look it is Miss Penney, whenever she speaks we know she will always put in her Penney's worth!

hippies worth

A quad of some exotic bud

Ay, my g, let me get a “hippies worth.”

Fort Worth facial

When your taking the top in the 69 position and you blow ass sludge all over your partners face. The m say version of the horizontal hurricane.

I ate to many burritos and accidentally gave my girlfriend a Fort Worth Facial.

If The Kebab Is Good It’s Worth it

This is a saying used to describe not just kebab, but any choice in life that may be questionable, and is still worth it to do regardless of the consequence.

That kebab looks so good! It may give us food poisoning… but if the kebab is good it’s worth it!