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Colleen Ballinger’s (The actor who plays 2015 internet phenomenon, Miranda Sings) apology video title. “hi.” Is a video that was marketed to clear rumours and apologize for the messed up things she has done and the boundaries she has crossed as an influencer to her child fan base.
The apology video takes a turn when she whips out her ukulele and plays the same 4 chords to sing about the “Toxic gossip train” for 10 minutes and 19 seconds. during the song, she doesn’t mention the word “sorry”. In fact, the only person she feels sorry for is herself and blames her audience for “ruining Colleen’s life” and “stabbing her repeatedly, in her boney little back”, while adding touches of lighthearted humour, such as clearing up that “the only thing she has ever groomed is her two Persian cats” which doesn’t make her a groomer. It just makes her a loser. Her words, not mine.
She gaslights the audience into feeling bad for her when she sings “at least you had your fun” which is like why would you say that…or sing it. Like who told you this entire video was a good idea. Who told you it was a good idea to hit “post” on the long ass vid (which is over 8 mins long, so it’s getting monetized)
She closes the vid with the inspiring and insightful words “fuck me, right?”. This is sarcasm because she does not actually want her fan base to fuck her, even tho that’s kind of what the accusations were about in the first place.
Put down the ukulele, Colleen. Be so real.
Person A: Did you see “hi.”?
Person B: Yeah omg that vid was so bad like how did she think that was a good idea??
Person A: Idk but I alr know she’s taking an internet hiatus
person 1, "hi"
person 2, "hey"
*proceeds to get on with their day*