why don't you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself

Used generally as a method of dismissal.

Sally: "Hey 'sup dude what you up to?"
Bob: "Sally, Why don't you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself?"

207👍 38👎

if she says she went on a business trip don't believe her

Yes don't believe her, especially if her name is Stacy. If she seems to be a little too happy after her 3 day "business trip" while blubbering away nonsense when you ask her about details that might be a red flag.

Jane, why is my girl so happy after her business trip, do girls love working hard that much? Well if the "business trip" gave

her the right kind of hard work then yes, some girls enjoy it. ;-(

So again if she says she went on a business trip don't believe her unless she feels miserable afterwards and talks about her awful business trip.

2👍 1👎

You're Dipping In The Kool-Aid And You Don't Even Know The Flavor

What you say to prove you're black in front of millions of Americans.

"Well Mr. Vice President as an African-American who loves Kool aid (especially watermelon because im black LOL!), there is a saying that You're Dipping In The Kool-Aid And You Don't Even Know The Flavor! Get it because im black LOL!" - Cory Booker

18👍 30👎

Well why don't you make like a tree then, and get the fuck out!

An idiom used to tell someone to get the fuck out.
Popularized by Doc, the old bar owner in The Boondock Saints, during the scene leading up to the bar fight with the Russian Mafia. Doc, who suffers from tourettes, commonly stutters and, therefore, mixes sayings (such as "People in glass houses sink ships"). Doc, who wants the Russian Mafia to gtfo, tells asks: "Well why don't you make like a tree then, and get the fuck out!"

NOTE: In order to sound authentic the quote must me said in an Irish accent

Nic:"You're such a douchebag."
Dan: "Well why don't you make like a tree then, and get the fuck out!"

19👍 3👎

If you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?

A phrase heard in the Pink Floyd song, "Another Brick in the Wall". Extremely funny.

Son: "Mom, can I have some pudding?"
Mom: "You haven't eaten your meat yet."
Son: "But mom!"
Mom: "Son, you know that: 'If you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?"
Son: "Don't be quoting Pink Floyd on me again..."

384👍 87👎

Urban Dictionary is so fucking gay. They don't accept funny submissions anymore.

Urban Dictionary is fucking gay for not submitting my word! You guys put so much stupid shit on here, but I write one funny word that happens to have the word "gay" in it and you guys don't use it because you're so politically correct now.

Bill: Remember when Urban Dictionary was cool? Bob: Yeah, but now Urban Dictionary is so fucking gay. They don't accept funny submissions anymore.

49👍 22👎

i don't care who the irs sends i am not paying taxes

fuck you

i don't care who the irs sends i am not paying taxes fuck the irs

11👍 3👎