It's a joke not a dick you don't have to take it so hard

something said when someone takes the joke too seriously or personally and they need a reminder of what they're mad about. knocks the sense back into someone real quick.

Samuel: It's a joke not a dick you don't have to take it so hard
Emanuel: I wish it was...
Samuel: what.
Emanuel: what.

27👍 14👎

squeeze so hard I squirt pink

I guess it implies that someone is whacking it with such intensity that blood gets into his semen.

My friend: Is that Emily Blunt? O man, she makes me squeeze so hard I squirt pink.

Me: That is fucking disgusting.

1👍 5👎

“Yeah, I just didn’t feel like concentrating that hard”

Typically an excuse used by Nvellen after being outplayed in World of Warcraft arenas.

Mirror’s ridiculous? “Yeah, I just didn’t feel like concentrating that hard”

Hotter than a whore's belly after a hard night's work

Very very hot. Can be temperture or being hot as in sexually hot.

1. It's hotter than a whore's belly after a hard night's work in here.
2. That Kathy is hotter than a whore's belly after a hard night's work.

5👍 4👎

I raped you so hard last night

a beatdown of a person in the PS2 game SOCOM. Said to the victim after the beatdown the next day.

"I went 12 and 1 against you using the HK5, i raped you so hard last night"

15👍 83👎

I laughed so hard, I choked on my spit!

What happens when you see/watch/do/hear something obscenely funny

Me- so, what did you think of my jokes?

Shawn B.- I laughed so hard, I choked on my spit!

Me- Wow, thanks!

21👍 46👎

Sometimes it's hard to resist the urge to drive right off a fucking bridge

man drives right off a fucking bridge

Man: Sometimes it's hard to resist the urge to drive right off a fucking bridge HHHhahaha oh look there's one
HUUUUhddJSUGYDSDKUHDHGUDBUJWYDYJLAKSJLKDLJSHIDHKNEKBDIFHLSNDBKS

9👍 1👎