Weird Turd

When you dumping a crap and a colleague comes into the toilet to ask you a question.

You: (singing) Dumpin' a turd, Ima dumpin' a tur...

Colleague: Hey Dude, have you seen the report I left on the printer?

You: No.

Colleague leaves.

You: That was a weird turd.

Turd-Circus

noun

\ˈtərd\ˈsər-kəs\

1. a fiasco or debacle ; significant failure.
2. general term for a person/place/event/object that is inherently full of fail.

1.

C: Were you at Ryan's "party" last weekend?

J: Yea man what a turd-circus.

Turd match maker

A match maker who matches people by how similar their poops are

Girl 1: So how did you guys did meet?
Girlfriend: Well we were matched by a turd match maker.
Girl 1: I have to go to the bathroom. *Calls sister to come pick her up*

Jerk Turd Fuck Head

Someone who is an asshole.

"That was my parking space, you jerk turd fuck head!"

turd felcher

Felcher meaning a man who sucks cum out of an anus of a male or female after a creampie.

So adding a turd makes a turd felcher

I heard Todd was a felcher.

I heard he was a Turd Felcher

turds and kinkos

At trip to the toilet to poop

I’ll be right back guys I have to go to turds and Kinkos

Domestically-battered-wrinkled-dog-turd

Noun

A term that describes the miserable, disheveled state caused by extreme sleep deprivation, especially when combined with the draining demands of everyday domestic life.

I'm feeling a little extra domestically-battered-wrinkled-dog-turd today on account of having slept only 2.5 hours.