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The greatest sports team to grace this earth since the '92 cowboys. They drop dick and piss all over .40 core softballs! Their battle cry of "CHAW!!!!!!!", which is screamed after every spectacular double play is rolled or piss missile is launched, can be heard from sea to shining sea.
Jim Adler: What are we gonna name the team?
Tx Hammer: Texas Chaw?
Jim Adler: Sounds awesome...
Tx Hammer: CHAW!!!!!!!!!!!
A sexual act formed in the oilfields of West Texas.
When a man pumps water into a woman's vaginal cavity and proceeds to have sex with her.
Frac hand 1: Aye wassup bro. That chick last night gave me a West Texas Frac Job.
Frac hand 2: Yo bro you didn't seriously fuck that lot lizard right?
Frac hand 1: Fucked her how Haliburton fucks us!
When you eat spicy food and feel the burn come out the other end.
Oi, I shouldn’t have eaten so many hot wings yesterday, I’ve got a Texas sore throat.
Using a pice of bologna you eat out the eyes mouth and nose and strap it to your face. Go down on a lady on her period. And after you’re done you make her eat that piece of bologna off your face.
Dude I just gave Karen the nastiest Texas chainsaw massacre!!
A texas toilet is the act of putting desserts such as cake or pies on the vagina while letting the owner of the vagina urinate while you eat the desserts(before or after fucking it,preferably after)
I heard margret had a texas toilet by robert.
Text to speech used by somebody who talks to their phone like it is their therapist, and not a robot converting their gibberish inner-monologue.
Usually accompanied by run-on sentences lacking punctuation, often sprinkled homophones with , and frequently reads worse than something written by someone with English as a second language.
Customer: "... I would say that is weigh to much for a bike that cost almost 2 grand, how am I to make sense in spending so much, need a front rim north background should be used on this bike because of the weight of it, I offered to send the rim to you at my cost, your bike mechanics know that they can match true it at 100%, why else would they give me a Saul brush off, I need your cooperation in getting test done, I am a consumer of this spike.."
*30 clauses later*
Customer: "Sorry using SIRI Texas Peach"
When you take a girl home and her taint stinks from riding horses on the ranch all day, so you pour a can of peaches on her pussy and use the heavy syrup as lube AND to cover up the smell. Bonus, after sex you get some ice cream, mix with the smashed up peaches, and have a nice snack.
Girl come over here and let me turn you into a texas peach.
texas peach