The last excuse for not doing something without admitting to laziness. Often used by cat owners and drunks/meth whores
Mom: Timothy, take out the trash!
Tim: I will.
Mom: No, NOW!
Tim: I'm busy.
Mom: BULLSHIT!
Tim: But, I have a cat in my lap!
Bill: Ted, can you hand me a beer.
Ted: Go gret it yershelf....
Bill: Dude, it's right there.
Ted: .....MraI have a crat in m'lap.....
Bill: There's nothing there...where are your pants? ...You have shit on your dick.
by virtue of my experience and knowledge, you don't have to take someone else's word for it. Trust me.
I don't want to see the New York Phil play another Beethoven symphony. I have played them all.
A common claim among bodybuilding enthusiasts who usually weigh between 165-180 pounds. Most of them, of course, are lying.
Small guy with 15" biceps looks at 6'0 215 pound fitness model Bill Davey, who has 18" arms.
"Yeah man, that guys huge. But. "I have 18 inch biceps" too, so he's not that big."
An inquiry to acquite and possess anothers fingers.
Greetings, Earthling. I am Nilbog of the Planet Sepa. My manual tactile receptors have melted upon entry into your planet's stratosphere. As reparations, can I have your digits?
What you say to your partner to let them know they can enter the bank.
Commonly associated with dialing a wrong number and going to jail.
Fun for pranks!
*Bzzzzt*
Human 1: I have killed them all. You may enter.
Human 2: Wrong n-number..?
Human 1: ...
*Beep*
You have😃
I have reached maximum boredom and defined this
this only makes sense when you have one
doesn't that fuck you out?
I have a bad word blocker