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Most notably found in wave pools at water parks, they are pieces of excrement floating in public waters. It is not known where they come from, but based on size and density they most likely come from toddlers, wearing diapers not meant for use in turbulent waters. They may also be a rare find in lazy rivers.
Rose: Andrew, what is that streak on your face?
Andrew: A wave just hit me with a Rogue Turd!
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The first name of Turd Ferguson. Refering to SNL's classic response during an always hillarious Jeopardy skit circa mid 90's. See also Rob Bauman.
Norm MacDonald as Bert Renolds to Jeopardy host Will Ferrell as Alex Trabeck: "Turd, like Turd Ferguson. Get it. Its funny."
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The opposite of fairy dust, indicating that something is tainted, ruined, or just bad.
It appears that this pathetic party has been totally sprinkled in turd dust.
A tool used to break up feces in a toilet bowl so that it will flush. Common since the advent of low-flow toilets.
I unscrewed the plunger handle and used it as a turd-breaker. I ate a whole pizza last night, so there was no way that chunk would flush on its own.
After a bad break up, to take a huge shit in your lover's toilet & not flush just before abruptly moving out when they're not home.
Jack: "Man, Lisa moved out when I was at work last night. I know I cheated on her but she didn't have to get all 'revenge of the turd on my ass'. Took me 3 flushes! It's on now!"
When the bathroom is out of hand towels and you have to dry your hands with toilet paper. The toilet paper then becomes a turd towel.
With no hand towels left in the bathroom I was forced to use a turd towel to dry my hands and open the door with.
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To spend money to "improve" or "pimp out" a worthless item such as a crappy car, dump of a house, or other such item. Usually done by spending more to upgrade an item than was paid for it but still not actually increasing the value of the item with these upgrades.
After Sam spent $1900 to pimp out his $300 rusted out, beat up, 1982 Celebrity all he got for his trouble was a gilded turd and credit card debt.
"My sister is a moron."
"Why's that?"
"She bought a $30,000 burnt out house in the worst part of town and spent $100,000 making it livable. Now she can't sell it because everyone who could afford it doesn't want to live anywhere near that part of town."
"Sounds like she's got a gilded turd on her hands."
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