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Canada's History

The act of using moose antlers as a sex device, with maple syrup as lubrication. Any liquids produced by this process are usually collected in the Stanley Cup.

I caught my mom researching Canada's History...I think i'm blind.

by Dick Sweat February 5, 2010

4๐Ÿ‘ 8๐Ÿ‘Ž


Canada's History

A notoriously gruesome sexual act, most commonly performed in the Pacific Northwest of the United States. This involves the male filling every possible oriphis of the woman, including the anus, oral cavity, vagina (or "beaver" if you prefer), and additionally the nasal cavaties and at least one earhole. Obviously, the penis and tongue are not enough to satisfy these requirements in most cases, so foreign objects are used as needed. These objects include, but are not limited to: pencils, pens, glue sticks, moose antlers, pine boughs, dildoes, hockey sticks, vegetables, and assorted trophies. The term "Canada's History" has several recognized origins. One theory is that when the entire population of extremely polite people of Earth migrated to Canada in the year 47 A.D., this was the predominant method of sexual intercourse. The more accepted theory, however, is related to the strange phenomenon associated with "Canada's History": both partners spontaneously begin singing the Canadian National Anthem upon reaching orgasm.

"Canada's History... it involves moose antlers, maple syrup, and the Stanley Cup." - Stephen Colbert

by Monte Valentine February 5, 2010

4๐Ÿ‘ 8๐Ÿ‘Ž


Canada's History

A BSL-4 sex act between D-9 shrimp aliens, bears, and moonbats (republicans). Coprophilia, anal firetrucks, and sperm discus follow 45 minutes of feltching foreplay. License required.

Ya dude. Christopher got all Canada's History on Smokey and Mitch McConnell.

by gels 23 February 5, 2010

4๐Ÿ‘ 8๐Ÿ‘Ž


Canada's History

The sexual act of pleasuring one's partner with a pair of moose antlers, while defecating on their face after having consumed a gallon of maple syrup.

I tried "Canada's History" with her last night, it was shitty.

by stoogel February 5, 2010

4๐Ÿ‘ 8๐Ÿ‘Ž


canada's history

n/v. a filthy depraved act of erotic dirtyness wherein a pair of moose antlers, maple syrup, and the stanley cup are used. the antlers are placed on the mans head while he nails the women doggystyle. meanwhile, the woman is drinking syrup out of the stanley cup and sporatically gargalling it to the tune of 'o canada' . the man proceeds to ejaculate in the cup, then they both drink it.

My girl was actin up last night so i gave her the ol' canada's history...

by the mysterious fertilizer February 5, 2010

4๐Ÿ‘ 8๐Ÿ‘Ž


canada's history

a sexual act generally performed between a man, a woman, and any non-consenting animal. though generally considered a fetish, "canada's history" is gradually entering the mainstream.

using moose antlers, maple syrup and the stanley cup as pleasure enhancers, the act begins when the man dips his cock into the maple syrup. though one might think this will be licked off by the woman, it is in fact going to be used as lubrication for anal penetration.

the woman bends over a table, and the man places the moose antlers on the woman's lower back, just above her hips. the antlers then represent an actual, physical, version of a "tramp stamp."

the man slides his maple syrup ensconced cock into the woman's anus, and the two begin a rhythmic give and take; him thrusting, her receiving. this continues until climax, where the man deposits his cum deep inside her bowels.

after squeezing out every last drop of semen, the man removes his cock and grabs the stanley cup. the woman squats over the stanley cup and shits out the frothy mix of santorum and maple syrup into it.

hockey sucks.

(the animal involved simply watches the two humans in disgust. what, did you think it was involved? pervert.)

"stephen colbert gave sarah palin a healthy canada's history the other day. i heard he needed viagra to get hard, given that she's so fucking unappealing."

by brian q. waterman February 5, 2010

7๐Ÿ‘ 18๐Ÿ‘Ž


Canada's History

An act, sexual in nature, that requires the use of day old poutine gravy as a lubricant for your 3rd puck-bunny of the evening - who is also know as a hat trick.

"Hey, you guys using that poutine? 'Cause I could use a little Canada's History for when I go 5 hole on Marcy."

by Keepin' it Louis Riel February 5, 2010

6๐Ÿ‘ 15๐Ÿ‘Ž