Hand-party

(n): Masturbation, jacking off

I like to have a hand-party while I look at pornography!

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invisible hand

From Adam Smith's 1776 The Wealth of Nations, referring to the uncoordinated ("invisible") private incentives in a free society, which direct resources to their highest valued use, leading people to voluntarily produce the goods and services that other people need.

Alternately, a hand job performed in public, but concealed by a strategically placed garment.

No need to have a Supreme Soviet planning commitee enslave me and tell me how many shoes to produce, the invisible hand of the free market will coordinate production!

Or:

I put my jacket on my lap, and she gave me some invisible hand right there during the concert.

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glad hands

Used to describe a handshake from a person who has malicious intentions, in regards to your future.

Fuck smiley glad hands
With hidden agendas
Fuck these dysfunctional,
Insecure actresses

- from "Aenima" by Tool

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Hand Guiding

When engaging in the activity of extensive making out, moving your partner's hand to the spot you want it. That being the lower back, buttocks, theighs, breasts, penis, neck, anywhere. It's a good way to let your man know you're ready to go to the next level without asking. It lets him know it's okay.

She was hand guiding me to that ass. That's how I knew it was okay to get handsy. I waited because I didn't want to until she was okay with it.

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Mr. Hands

Still a better love story than Twilight

Friend: Did you see that Mr. Hands video, it's a guy fucking a horse!
You: Yep, and it's still a better love story than Twilight

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high-handed

Someone who is high-handed uses their power or authority more forcefully than is needed without thinking about the feelings or wishes of other people

It is not a court verdict; it simply demonstrates the high-handedness of the President who had personal scores to settle with opposition

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Crab Hands

The process of crossing your fingers by putting the inner fingers over the outer fingers, creating two prongs on each hand. Often used to let somebody know that they are being "crabby."

"Omg. My friend was being a total bitch, so I flashed her the crab hands."

"Nice."

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