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A redneck built like a lumber jack, who has a penis so big, he can break boulders with the slap of his giant cock.
“Did you hear what Greg did?
I heard he roughed up Angie pretty good.
That’s what a Missouri Mountain Hammer will do to a pretty little thing.”
When a shot of alcohol is poured on a mans outstretched nutsack like a bowl and then consumed by a a willing participant
Seth I swear she gave me the Missouri lake licker last night.
When your raw dogging your step sis's butt and upon pulling out you helicopter your dick, slinging Sunday's processed supper all around the room
Omg after sunday lasagna supper , i cant believe my brother gave me a missouri mud slinger , now i have lasagna flavored poop on my walls
A guy and a girl shit in each others mouths and then while they are 69'ing the guy takes a hot iron rod and brands his initials onto the back of the bitch he is fucking. Then he shaves all his pubes off, shoves them in the girls vagina and makes her eat them. To finish it off, he strattles the bitch and rides her around the room to show her who's boss and then pisses in her mouth.
Jacob Winton: I smelled burning flesh and heard some bitch screaming in the other room.
Katie G: Oh don't worry. They're just doing the Missouri tramp stamp.
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This is when a man gets in a bathtub with a woman, where both take a shit (diarrhea preferred) in the tub. They proceed to have sexual intercourse in the water amongst the low viscus excretion. After the dead is done, both take turns sipping the bath water with a straw.
"Hey bro, did you see the game last night?"
"No. I was too busy giving this kind young lady a Missouri Hot Tub."
"Wow, you are so cool. I want to do that too and spread this phrase to all my friends n family."
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Before having sex first the lady will take an exessive amount of laxatives. Next the gentleman will prosition her into the pile-driver position and then start banging her ass. Eventually she will have to take a shit, you keep on going until the last minute. When you pull out there will be enought pressure behind the shit (probabley diarrhea) that it will exit the ass looking like when a someone strikes oil.
Pablo: Damn, Karen's a nasty girl. Last night we were doing the Missouri Oil Driller when I pulled out, she aimed at me and I got drenched.
Ramon: That will happen.
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In missouri when you wait till the second date to whip out your junk. that is taking it slow cause men are just incredibly hot the further south you go in missouri. Men usually wait for a while after dating to whip out their junk, but not in missouri. the girls are begging for the average missouri man junk.
Josh: "Dude! I just got done with my first date with Julia!"
Philip: "Oh dude...did you bang her yet?"
Josh: "Im gonna go with the missouri baby step!"
Philip: "oh shit dawg! you watin till dat second date to whip that shit out? You own that man! go for it!"
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