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a two week summer camp for "aspiring writers" but ends up with a bunch of kids sick of writing. good camp since there's a lot of free time but also bad. also question hole x silverware chute is the best ship but fucking elevator is getting in the way. it's ~lovely~ here (if you know you know). also creates a great meme page each session (session 2 2019 will forever live on bitches).
hey why are you going to iowa? i forgot that was even a state.
I'm going to the Iowa Young Writers' Studio
A town in central Iowa with a population of about 3500. Surrounded by 500 miles of corn in all directions, located right on highway 35. Home to some of the most condescending asshole hillbillies you'll ever meet. Some of the attractions of this town include Kum and Go, The Carousel(which is only interesting to Chinese tourist), and the two parks located in the middle of town. The only reason anyone ever comes to this town is to stop and eat at one of the many poorly managed restaurant along the interstate. Living here is atrocious, and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone with a steady income and a good head on their shoulders. The people there are weird, deranged, and want nothing to do with outsiders. The cops are absolute assholes, and the school system is an utter joke. And living there, even for a short period of time, will bore you to death. The only thing to do in Story City is to be a drunken, drug addicted hick. I would recommend avoiding this town, or any town north of Ames along interstate 35, until at least Albert Lea, Minn.
Tourist: So what do people from Story City Iowa do?
Story City Resident: Umm, not much, I've pretty much been sitting in my apartment smoking Crystal Meth for the past 10 years. So, that's about all there is to do here.
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Also Iowa Lamps or Greenhorns. The way rural newcomers and persons from the provinces stare for prolonged periods of time at urban dwellers, usually with a disbelieving, gawky incredulity. The gaze predictably derives not only from the usual unfamiliarity with the pace, rhythms and protocols of city life, but also an unmistakable unlettered and unsophisticated countenance and temperament.
Sari and I tend to avoid certain urban attractions moreso in the summer than other times of the year. Places like the arcade, central fountain and the boardwalk are simply not pleasurable with all those largely rural, out-of-town tourists out and about. They tend to stare at the locals with those Iowa Eyes or Lamps as if we were circus freaks or zoo animals.
The batter dipped and fried testicles of farm animals, considered a delicacy in farm country.
City Boy: I would never eat a bull testicle, but I do love an Iowa hush puppy.
A lizard that is a slizzard and it bites the males penis in half then the male lizard shares the half penis with his family
Hey mu lizard just had an Iowa hot pocket
When a football team scores 7 points but does so by kicking one field goal and scoring two safeties. Named for the Iowa Hawkeyes, who scored 7 points in this manner against South Dakota State on September 3, 2022.
The Hawkeyes’ offense couldn’t score an actual touchdown for shit, but the defense and special teams stepped up to get an Iowa touchdown.
P.E. Teacher is a probably a sex offender
“I don’t ever want to visit springville, Iowa!”