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When the church or a person are actually fucking themselves over.
Jesus fucking Christ, it's like he's fucking himself in the ass while sucking his own dick!
Operating or being a passenger in or on a water/land vehicle at such a velocity or in such a precarious way that the result in losing control of the vehicle and/or simply crashing would result in an inevitable fatality, which would lead to you meeting Jesus himself, hence the term.
For example: Going over 85/90mph on the highway would most likely be considered going Mach Jesus due to the fact that a sudden stop at that speed would kill the passengers of the vehicle. Doing dangerous stunts at high speeds and/or going more than double in a residential, although probably not fatal for the passengers, could be considered Mach Jesus.
Going so fast in a speed boat that colliding with another would not only destroy the boat but more than likely kill the passengers.
“Ahhhhh! Carl! The fuck are you doing?”
“I’m going Mach Jesus!”
“You just went Mach shit yourself.”
A place so remote, it's not even in East Jesus.
At least East Jesus would be a town. We're out in Unincorporated Jesus County.
An expression when multiple things go awry at once.
I woke up to a leak under the dishwasher, then the dog barfed all over the new rug and next thing I know it, I have Covid! Jesus Christ on Jupiter!
holy bloody jesus a phrase used in shock or surprise when curse words are not appropriate or you want to polite
holy bloody jesus that lightning strike was loud
holy bloody jesus playing in the mud was fun
A haitian proverb about how haitians have fourth Johnson in whole world.
Mines gots a long jesus dick my friends! Not an smalls american one YES
A term used in a cosplay skit, one about Narutards, and how many there are. Basically, it was one of the best skits I've seen, and it made me laugh. Jiraiya was great for saying this.
But other than that, the term is basically the coolest thing ever, only being used by the truely amazing people.
Friend: Woah, check out that sick ride!
Other Friend: Holy jesus convention, that is friggin' sweet!