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big headed turtle

Much like the big headed turtle, this term describes a big headed and small minded member of an older generation that is going extinct. The big headed turtle is a member of an older generation that has no interest in updating their knowledge of the world, only reads biased articles, belittles issues of millennials that he/she has never faced or researched, ferociously holds the baton on Facebook for insensitive propaganda, instigates and incites arguments for joy, does not know how to check sources for accuracy, and denies being racist/homophobic/sexist while supporting racist/homophobic/sexist ideals. Enjoys, coincidentally, calling others bigots while in fact being a bigot.

This big headed turtle posted a picture of millennials crying, affected by the deaths in the Florida shooting, stating that millennials only problems are "getting offended and protesting ridiculous causes."

Thank goodness big headed turtles are going extinct. One told me he isn't racist, but will not hire African Americans because of "how they get."

My big headed boss turtle inappropriately grabbed me at a company party, then told me, "Men don't get assaulted, they get complimented or fired."

by lolweird February 25, 2018


Turtle toeing

The act of being to fucking slow!

Hey mother fucker get your ass up and quit turtle toeing around!

by Nr_stanky January 14, 2021


Turtle Strategy

When your hooking up with a girl and you don’t relax when you kiss and go too hard 😈

Example: Nikita Fishman does the turtle strategy too much!

by stacy moiseyeva June 5, 2020


Turtle Aquarium

When you lock yourself in the bathroom with the water in the shower running to point it's boiling hot. You try your hardest to take biggest shit of your life so you can sweat more and lose as much weight as possible.

I need to drop 10 pounds this month so I'm going to head into the turtle aquarium twice a week.

by Derry Murbles October 13, 2020


Turtle Aquarium

When one enters the bathroom, turns on steaming hot water in the shower and proceeds to take a shit. The shit particles cling to the water vapour in the air creating a dense stench. For maximum effect, empty all the water out of the toilet so your turd is only hitting porcelain. Proceed to call a significant other into the bathroom, citing you need help with something, and relish their reaction of having to smell your airborne vaporized poo particles.

“Last night I made a Turtle Aquarium in the bathroom, and tricked Stacey into smelling it”

by BullshitRhymes October 29, 2020


Colorado Snapping Turtle

The act of biting of the pubes of a woman’s vagina

Guy 1: I met this girl last night and gave her the good ol Colorado Snapping Turtle

Guy 2: Lucky! My girl won’t let me do it.

by SexcMannn September 19, 2021


big brown turtle

The extremely satisfying defecation after a protracted bout of drinking & bad food

After all those shots & slices; the Big Brown Turtle reared his ugly head...

by SilentBob73 November 1, 2015