turd muscle

an asshole

English Teacher: "This is the third time you haven't done your homework, Kyle."

Kyle: "I had chores to do on myself afterschool, teach!"

E T: "Oh, please, you're a turd muscle. That's why you didn't do your homework!"

Turd-Circus

noun

\ˈtərd\ˈsər-kəs\

1. a fiasco or debacle ; significant failure.
2. general term for a person/place/event/object that is inherently full of fail.

1.

C: Were you at Ryan's "party" last weekend?

J: Yea man what a turd-circus.

Turd match maker

A match maker who matches people by how similar their poops are

Girl 1: So how did you guys did meet?
Girlfriend: Well we were matched by a turd match maker.
Girl 1: I have to go to the bathroom. *Calls sister to come pick her up*

Jerk Turd Fuck Head

Someone who is an asshole.

"That was my parking space, you jerk turd fuck head!"

Turd carter

A turd carter is someone who transports shit from septic tanks

What do you do for a job? Me? I’m a turd carter

burb turd

Preppy douche bag from the suburbs.

"Hey man, quit acting like you grew up hard. Your really a burb turd. "

turd purgatory

when you feel like you need to take a large dump but cant manage to sqeeze anything out resulting in an abnormally long session in the restroom or an uneasy feeling if you decide to proceed with your day with only pushing out a few tiny pellet size turds...also can decribe when you need to take a huge shit and it gets half way out of your asshole and your butthole is stretched to the furthest diameter possible,nearly tearing your o-ring then stops causing you to breath like a ladie in a lamaze class while trying to muster with the strenght to force it out..which while taking place could feel like an extremely long time in which everthing you think you know comes into question and you question if god really exists.

"sorry I was late,J had to take a huge shit and was caught in turd purgatory.I nearly blew out my o-ring, but im good now.Too much meatloaf with dessert "