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When you only eat when jesus stells you........
Person 1: "Oh God Please Help Me"
Jesus: "Do Not Eat Until I Tell You"
Person 1: "Oh Thank you Jesus"
The Jesus Diet!!!!!
3👍 21👎
Meeting a cute girl who seems like she's into you only to be completely turned off from her upon reading that she describes herself as a "jesus freak" on her facebook/myspace.
dude1: "Hey man, how's it going with that chick you've had your eye on for a while?"
dude2: "total jesus freak scenario man. don't bring that shit up"
35👍 18👎
When one is to drunk to drive while still insiting on driving, allows a higher power to do the driving for them. It stems from the popular Carrie Underwood song with the title of the same name.
"I know drinking and driving is wrong so that is why i let Jesus take the wheel, whenever I drive home drunk, he'll guide me home safely"
237👍 158👎
In contrast to No Nut November and Destroy Dick December, the month of January is given to Jesus. All sexual acts must be committed under his watchful, sultry eyes, preferably with his divine image as inspiration.
"Hey dude, let's go watch some porn and jack off together!"
"No way dude, it's Just Jesus January. I only jack for Jesus."
OR
"Alright dude, but only if it has a scripturally accurate portrayal of Jesus in it. After all, it's Just Jesus January!"
22👍 10👎
Expression of disbelief, shock or frustration, especially among older people in South Wales valleys.
'Jesus nelly bells, I can't believe he missed that conversion!'
15👍 6👎
Act of spotting a poorly-hidden recording video camera while a female is riding the male in the missionary position.
Ronald: Why was Gabby crying in school today?
Seth: Ryan popped an "Uh Oh Jesus" on the bitch.
25👍 12👎
catchy phrase on tshirts.
way of saying jesus is freakin rad.
You know what? Jesus is my homeboy!!
CHALLAH!
65👍 38👎