hands up don't shit

When you're friend is trying to say "hands up, don't shoot," but instead says "shit"

Person 1: that touched me, but not in a gay way
Person 2: don't start pointing at charts and dolls and shit, HANDS UP DON'T SHIT

i don't know juice

A non existant beverage, or at least not available to parents.

"Daddy can you get me a drink"

"Sure what do you want"
"I don't know"
" I will see if we have any i don't know juice"

I don't speak russian I speak soviet

What literally i will say when i am in RUSSIA

me:*goes to russia*
russians:do you speak russian?
me:no
russians:then what language do you speak?
me: I don't speak russian i speak soviet
russians:how does this make any sense

You Must Know Something I Don't

When someone says something outlandish, this is a common response.

Calvin: My head is all swollen, so I'll wrap it in a turban so my parents won't notice!
Hobbes: You must know something I don't.

Don't Cum In My Lungs

DCIML- Don’t Cum In My Lungs

Used when something is so funny that it hurts your lungs from how hard you're laughing. Adapted from the urban phrase "don't clart my lungs".

Don't cum in my lungs, this shit is hilarious.

omg milly its okay don't cry

when your milly is sad you must say this

"your millys sad"

"you say"
omg milly its okay don't cry

Don't worry, i'm not a vegan

When you aren't a vegan

hey riad get it through your helmet... Don't worry, i'm not a vegan