close your eyes and open your mouth

A fun game boys play with drunk girls.

Maria said, "Every time I get drunk and a boy says close your eyes and open your mouth, I get a big fat cock in the mouth!"

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I tried to speak, but my mouth wasn't open.

the answer you give when you are too lazy to speak

Ms. teahcer: It's your turn to speak, kidö
Kidö: I tRiEd To sPeAk, BuT mY MoUtH wAsN't OpEn.
Ms teacher: bruh- I asked ou to speak-
Kidö: NaUr

Honest baby, I won't come in your mouth

The number one lie that every guy has said.

Of course I respect you and will love you in the morning. So come on, honest baby, I won't come in your mouth.

Two cocks in the mouth is better than three in the ass.

modern day application of: "The lesser of two evils"

Child: "I can't decide what to do, mom. Should I lie to my new friend and tell her she looks good even though she doesn't? Or should I come straight out and tell her she looks god awful?"

Mom: "You know son, Two cocks in the mouth is better than three in the ass."

Child: "You're right! Thanks mommy!"

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to wash your mouth with soap and lemon juice

to do anything and everything humanely possible to make someone you care about stop swearing.

(N.B: when i was in elementary school this is the type of punishment our teachers threatened us with if we didn't stop swearing)

mother : Daniel, I will soon resort to having to wash your mouth with soap and lemon juice; you have a vocabulary problem

son : why should I stop swearing? Make me.

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I love big ol' penis in my mouth

I love men and so do you because you searched this. C=========3

(\/ : )

Joe: I love big ol' penis in my mouth!
Obamna: gay.

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Hot until she opens her mouth

A hot girl that you see looks quite attractive until she starts talking, Once you hear her voice you become immediately repulsed

Pat: did you see that bad bitty by the produce isle

Jeff: Yeah she looked Hot until she opens her mouth

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