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How Christians Read the Bible

By presupposing it's truth and then create a narrative that is parallel to the text and then accepting this adjacent narrative AS TRUTH... Regardless of what the text actually says.

Hym "And then what they do is believe the narrative that is constructed around the text... In spite of the FACT that it is a manifestation of their own mind. So, it doesn't matter WHAT YOU SAY... As long as the conclusion is that the religion is both true and good. And it looks something like this:

Dr. JeepJorp "Flabbity florbity flip flop! Everyone KNOWS that flabbity florbity flip flop and that = the Bible true and good!"

Sheeple "Hey! I'm everyone! You're right! I know that, I mean, come on. Do you think I don't know that flabbity florbity flip flop? Everyone know it!"

Hym "And that's how Christians read the Bible."

by Hym Iam June 14, 2024


christian joseph merk

A god of fortnite. The most amazing person you will ever meet hit me up at 717-406-8542

Travis zeiset:christian Joseph merk u are a god at fortnite
Christian Joseph merk: ik that is literally the definition of my name

by God at fortnite March 14, 2018


Kaitlin Christian

The actual definition of fucking two-faced bitch.

That girl is so much like Kaitlin Christian.

by 26584569523698545269584 February 17, 2019


Plymouth Christian Academy

Alright, I'm a student here. I'm gonna give a serious definition for this godforsaken hellhole. This place is poison. I can't put into words how much trauma and pain I've experienced here. The people are assholes and have no morality or tolerance except for "Jesus is cool and if you don't like him you're gonna die a terrible death and regret being not Christian for the rest of your life". The class program is a joke, with 7th graders only having 5 electives and only getting to choose 2. Every class you take somehow turns into a Bible lecture no matter what subject. Almost all of the people that go here are awful people and only care about "being the best Christian I can be". I'm going to take a minute to say that not ALL of the school is terrible, some teachers have a sense of humor and actually try to educate you on something other than God and Jesus or whatever. I want to say at least some of the kids know what the word 'tolerance' means, but that's a bit of a stretch. This school houses, creates and encourages the stereotype of (white) insane Christians who hurt other people who aren't (white) like minded-Christians. Again, I can't stress enough how intolerant the people here are towards others who have a different faith or lifestyle. This school is just an expensive prison. If you want to use "Plymouth Christian Academy" in a sentence, DON'T. Find a similar word, like "hell" or "pain", or even "death-inducing traumatic prison". Please, I beg of you, stay away.

"Oh yeah, Zoey goes to Plymouth Christian Academy."
"Oh, that poor girl. I hope she escapes someday."

by @ch7@ July 13, 2023


Christian Swear

The thing that christian servers hate, it is also banned in church too. It's like cussing but for Christians.

Harry: Go to hell!
Ben: Did you just say a christian swear?

by Dumb thoughts... May 2, 2019


Christian Edgecombe

Awsome

i feel like Christian Edgecombe chanted Gerry

by DICK BISdFV December 30, 2017


The Christian Persecution Complex

That meme is like... Literally the exact thing they're doing to me.

Hym "I had a woman come in to my job to tell me that I can't poison God and it's like... Yes I fucking can bitch! This has nothing to do with the Christian persecution complex but yeah... Exact same thing they're doing to me."

by Hym Iam August 8, 2024