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Chav can be a noun, verb or an adjective. As in “you shitty scum chav”, or “Hey I like the way you have chavved up ya car/wardrobe/lifestyle/language” etc.
The origins of the word itself are unclear and there are a few theories, perhaps all of them correct. Nonetheless, the current criteria for being a chav applies as laid out in this dictionary and no doubt, as culture dumbs-down even more, the definition will need to be updated. Chavs will no doubt eventually, despite their in-bred lack of intelligence, cotton-on to the fact that burberry and it’s current associations foster great hatred and negativity amongst the majority of the population. This factor however, could backfire, as Chavs could consider the perpetuation of hatred and negativity as a great contribution to humanity, even if it is directed towards themselves from others.
The most recent example of a celebrity Chav is Kenzie in Big Brother. (I can’t remember the name of the boy-band he is in – so uncool – but I know it had the word “Crew” or “Squad” whatever, in the name). In fact, Kenzie actually said “no” initially to being in the BB house, but when he thought long and hard about it, decided to say yes as the word “brother” as in, “bruv-va” or “bruv” for short, sounded cool and he thought it would really do wonders for his street-cred. Kenzie is actually white, but to see his clothes and hear him speak, you would think he is black.
Chavism represents a cultural link with the Trailer Park Trash in The States which is actually a sub-culture of black America. They both inspire each other. The lower the common denominator they appeal to, the cooler they are! Both of these cultural factions are represented by the highly evolved people picked to appear on the “Jerry Springer” show. Due to the speed of the transmission of information in modern times ex. Internet, TV etc, cultures very quickly pick up bits from other cultures, bounce off each other, and this happens at such a rate that no-one exactly knows who originated what. But as society has evolved, and that is the key word, “evolved”, chavism did not happen overnight but evolved as culture dumbed-down and it became clear that it was not “cool” to aspire to anything other than basic animal appetites (for junk food, sex, cheap bling etc). Perhaps devolved is a better word!
Jordan is the ultimate aspiration of female Chavs. She is actually much more stupid than the average Chavette which is why they (chavettes) admire her so much. She is actually now trying to pull herself out of the Chav-pit she has made for herself by writing a book about herself, no doubt mostly really ghost-written by someone else, paid for from the proceeds of all the modelling jobs she has done which evolve around her flubber-inflated chest (but isn’t she a great business woman- fuckin what?), and is trying to appear in “serious” programmes such as Book Award Ceremonies. Unfortunately, she is still seriously boring as she has neglected her mind in favour of her chest , hoping that the more silicone she has pumped into those tits, the more self-esteem and intelligenceshe will attain and therefore rather than work hard and learn, just go see the surgeon again. Easy!! Her tits have now become self-funding entities (get it?) in their own right.
So my good friends, that is my input.
Chavette 1 - I nikked dis 'ello mag from da doc's....it's got Jordan and Peter pics innnit!
Chavette 2 - wikked innit....didja get ya tablets sorted for dat smell cumming from ya minge?
3673👍 1879👎
Somone who thinks their "tough as" but are usually seen crying because someones said something about their mum.
They are seen wearing branded sports ware, hoodies, track suit bottoms, "bling", cap, and the chavettes carry knock off handbags like "Channel" and "D&G", short skirts (with curry stains on them) high heels, huge hooped earings that are big enough for Dolphins to jump through, and hoodies (taken from their ex partners).
Usually hang outside take aways like Mc Donalds and Burger king, Parks, and on the streets.
Chavettes are mainly fat and get pregnant at the age of 12 and by the age of 20 end up with 14 kids with names like Mercedes, Roxy, Brooklyn, Lambrini, Cherri, Chantelle, Preston (seen as a classy name for a baby chav), Klloee (Like Chloe), Clayton, Paris, Whitney, Chardonnay, Kandi, and Bentley
Chav: Awright baybe. How'z about we goes get a kabab and go clubbin'?
Chavette: Oi fuck aff! Ya know they wont let me in tha clubs, am only 14. Plus am feedin' for 2 now, go get me a large kabab.
Chav: Yahh awright. Oi! Lambrini get aurf that fuckin' dog!
*Baby chav Brooklyn pee's on carpet*
Chavette: Fuck me! Put 'im outside would'ya?
*Chav picks up baby and put's him in the garden. It is night time*
Chav 2: Ay! Look oo' it iz blud! *gives baby bottle of beer*
Chav: C'mon baybe. Letz go out "n" get pissed.
Chavette: Fyne! Put that Cbeebies on for em. That'll keep em' entertained. Fuck! That Tam keeps sendin' me textes (chav word for text) sayin' I stole 'er babeh (chav word for baby)
19👍 5👎
chavs are mongs, who try to act hard in front of people in thier little chavy gang outside McDonalds. But when they are on thier own in a fight, they run away!! stupid chavs!
''im a chav and im well hard. Lets go and steal a balloon from McDonlads,then we will be cool''
''lets go into the toilets in there aswell and graffiti, because we are well cool!''
''we are such chavs!''
36👍 12👎
A prime example of regressive evolution. What's left over now that Britain's working class has become middle class.
Chavs tend to be either skinny and physically underdeveloped due to excessive consumption of illegal stimulants and long periods running from the police, or morbidly obese due to a diet consisting primarily of any American Burger Corp's finest offerings.
Chavs can often be found loitering in large herds, engaging in a range of antisocial behaviour around urban landmarks such as bus stations, shopping malls or McDonald's - basically anywhere they may come into contact with normal folk whom they can try to intimidate from within the safety of the chav herd.
The Chav female, or chavette, reaches breeding age at the age of 9, at which time her pregnancy to family friend "Uncle Dazza" (aged 26) may be publicised on the front page of the Sun newspaper. This may also lead to an appearance on daytime TV and a period of incarceration for "Uncle Dazza".
Bizarrely (see mating section below), elders in Chav communities often have an obsession with Paedophiles ("Pedos") which is often whipped into a frenzy by the British Tabloid press. This prompts one of the Chav communities' quaintest customs - "Pedo" outings, at which Chav young are taught the basics of identifying and dealing with Pedos by (generally female) members of the Chav community. During this event, which often run in summer and take the form of a kind of community Festival, everyone from "Paediatricians" to "Podiatrists", or even just slightly beardy middle aged men, can expect to have their windows smashed, their property vandalised, or possibly even their bodies beaten by a horde of placard wielding, chain smoking Chav grandmothers (even though most of them are barely out of their 30s). In light of this, many civil libertarians are alarmed at government moves to publicise the names of known "pedos" to the communities in which they live. It is likley, however, that identifying an offender will involve a form of higher brain activity, such as reading long words, thus mollifying a significant element of the vigilante threat. Generally, middle aged men with scratchy beards and hygiene problems should avoid Chav communities during "Outing" festivals, as should anybody called Pete, or with a "Ped", "Pod" or similar in their job title or name.
Chavettes are known for their fecundity, and can typically be expected to have a brood of 4 children to unlocatable or jailbird fathers by the age of 17, thus allowing them a range of state support and childcare, freeing up more of their time to loiter in chav herds seeking out new breeding partners whilst "mashed" on alcopop.
The mating ritual for a chav is interesting, particularly in so far as there is often a substantial age difference between the male and female breeding partners (often a decade or more in favour of the male). The male is generally either a relative/ close family friend of the female, or a complete unknown. Usually, mating begins when the male identifies his partner amongst a crowd of loud female chavettes in a communal setting such as JD Whetherspoons. Her receptiveness is often signified by the role of belly fat protruding from her boob tube, the shortness of her skirt, the taughtness of her Croydon facelift, her willingness to flash her diamante thong on demand, and above all her level of inebriation. Once he has identified her as likley to be compliant, the next step is to ply her with more alcohol, and see off competitors with a series of intimidating stares, or even violence if neccessary (although this may result in an early exit from the mating arena). Mating is usually in a secluded location (e.g. bent over the wheelie bins outside).
After a gestation period, usually of 9 months, the Chavette gives birth to an underweight baby who is often addicted to nicotine from the womb. She will typically name her young after a Movie star, boyband member or footballer (Romeo, Jordan, Keanu etc.) or after the place he was conceived (Cinderellas etc.). It is rare for the male Chav to have any part in the upbringing of his young, prefering instead to lodge on a succession of friend's couches until the CSA can no longer locate him and responsibility for his genetic legacy is duly passed to the state.
Chavs can be upwardly mobile. After a short spell in a correctional facility, many of them dispense with twoccing cars and may find cash in hand work as a doorman or labourer. Some of them may graduate to owning a white van, thus signifying that they own their own business or have a contract, which they will then use to tailgate other road users around the main roads of Britain whilst making oscillatory hand gestures.
Listen to the sound of Urban Britain... Can you hear it? Yes.. the sound of Police helicopters... the sound of "Pedos" gently having their windows smashed to a crescendo of jeering.... the sound of a 5 year old boy being mauled by his drunken chav father's pit-bull terrier as he dozes off to the football on sky......
25👍 7👎
chavs are annoying little pricks who hang round in massive tribes. they invest in buying the stupidest fakest jewlry and when they take the female chavs to the cinema, if the plot is anything more intelectual than your plotless americain pie, the chav and his chavettes brain will explode.
ways to spot a chav:
-if you see a crappy old car, with mods which make it comically stupid looking, and blacked out windows, expect a chav to be behind the wheel.
- their trademarked cloths. no one could think to wear the stupid burberry caps and nike tracsuits as these chavs and townies.
- the way they walk. you see them 'bowlin' it down the high street, they remind me of apes (primative roots), or someone bending over to scoop up cash, after all they are complete pikeys
(it is hard to tell the difference between male and female chavs, so i tend to treat them all as the same gender. the only difference is that female chavs seem to be on their periods 24/7.)
older people, 17- 21 will be confronted by a tribe of chavs from time to time, who will either want to mug them, or give them money to buy some fags and booze (fags to make them look hard, booze to get them all drunk, 1 bottle will be plenty)
world famous chavster big-boy 50 cent was bottled off at reading this year, serves him right to try and turn all the punk rockers there into chavs. i would like to go beat him up, but looking at his teeth,i think someone beat me to it
46👍 16👎
a twat. usually tries to act like thay are black when they are clearly white. can be found outside or inside mcdonalds or near a JD sports. usually wear baggy tracksuits that hang round their arses which make them look like they shat themsleves. listen to shiity chart hiphop e.g 50 cent, sean kingston, rhianna and all that other shit. sometimes hang around camden just to shout abuse at the passing by emo poofs and faggoths. talk about big brother and im a celebrity... have no sense of taste or originality and usually follow what is popular. also they talk like knobs.
chavvy white boy:yo G. wats gwan'in. u is lookin buff in ur battyriders innit. wanna cum down 2 mcdonalds and set my sum head. dont be scared by my small penis and 1 blond pube doe. bruv!
slaggy chav girl:yh bruv. ill link u buh i wanna meet up wid ma chixx.
17👍 4👎
The Chav (or Lamo Inferior) is a sub species of baboon which has somehow learned to do a feeble imitation of the English language and live among the British as parasites.
The origins of the word chav are unclear. Opinion is divided as to whether the word is a corruption of the Romany word "chavi", (roughly translating as "child") or an abbreviation of the word "Chatham," a town, like many in southeast England, with an inordinately high proportion of these creatures.
The chavs themselves are thought by many to be the result of some sort of bio-terrorism or the accidental release of biohazardous materials from a research facility located near a McDonalds "restaurant."
The females (or "chavettes") can be identified by absurdly large hoop earrings and incredibly tight scraped-back ponytail hairstyle. The male is the same size as the female but tends to wear tracksuits with hood up in all weathers or pink/powder blue/hooped polo shirts with collars turned up.
Renowned for cowardice, aggression, and a tendency to breed like the head lice they keep as pets (along with Staffordshire bull terriers.)
The mating habits of the Chav revolve around the males driving around urban areas in small, cheap cars filled with sub-woofers blaring out repetitive random noise and hooting sounds. This mating call can be heard for many kilometres. The unfeasably large hoop earrings on the females vibrate and jangle in response to this noise, letting them know that a potential mate is somewhere in the vicinity.
The chav is a highly territorial beast. Like most lower primates, getting too close or making eye contact is hazardous and often results in them attacking you. Although they are physically weak, they always attack en masse often using some form of crude tool for bludgeoning or cutting. In smaller groups they are only likely to attack if they sense fear/weakness or if you turn your back on them. They tend to congregate in huge groups, very much like the Gelada baboon, their closest relative. This phenomenon is most commonly seen in shopping malls, fast food restaurants, city/town centres, Spanish/Mediterranean budget holiday destinations and cheaper forms of public transport.
For some reason, chavs are a protected species in the UK and are never culled and only rarely incarcerated by the authorities. Fortunately, there are many citizens action groups trying to rectify this situation.
The only people known to like chavs are misguided knee-jerk liberals with a below average grade in social studies who have probably not yet had any family members or friends killed/raped/mugged by this brand of infectious, sub-human waste. It is possible that the chav lover misconstrues the hatred of chavs as a class issue. This is a misconception on their part, as many chavs are in fact semi-retarded, middle-class teenagers who have decided to live as baboons since they cannot function in true human society.
"The social security office is crawling with chavs."
"Father of three beaten to death by a group of chavs in an unprovoked assault. This is the third such incident this week."
"The average IQ of a chav is well below the human average."
17👍 4👎