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headphones excuse

Refers to your wearing a personal music-device that uses a headset of some sort, and then "blaming it on that" whenever someone complains that you appear to be ignoring him, when of course in reality you actually heard what he said just fine because **the headphones weren't even playing at the time**, but you were merely practicing "selective deafness" because you didn't happen to like what he had to say, and so you did not wish to respond to and/or be affected by whatever he was telling you.

The headphones excuse can also be "used in reverse" in instances where you are being compelled to be present during a speech, lecture, tirade, etc., and you cannot bear to listen to said boring/controversial/voluminous b**ls**t for even a few seconds... what you do, therefore, is clip on your headphone-based music-device that's hidden inside an outer plastic cabinet that you have boldly labelled, "personal amplified listening device", so that the speaker and anyone else present will think that you are just wanting to ensure that you'll be clearly hearing every single word that the self-important gabber is saying, when in reality you are using the headphones to DROWN HIM OUT so that you won't either need a straitjacket or commit mass-homicide halfway through said extended monologue. It's a vital accessory if you're being "drugged as a child" because your parents "drug you to church".

by QuacksO September 10, 2018


Feeble excuse

A pathetic excuse of a human.The absolute pond scum of life and sorry excuse of dna to walk on the planet.

Went to see morg and roundhead today. Them 2 idiots are the absolute most pathetic pond scum feeble excuses I have ever come across.

by Kittysaid15 June 7, 2021


Pilot Excuses

Excuses a pilot makes to get his/her way.

"We have the fuel truck hooked up at the end of the runway with the passengers on board. I know you guys are busy, but can we get a fuel load and add a dog?"

"I'm getting really sick of your pilot excuses."

by SirMcLongFinger November 23, 2021


Idf excuses

Oh? What happened? You don't like the idf's excuses Destiny? You think maybe it's the thing I said it was? You think you were just using historical precedent and making shit up to sound right in front of retards?

Hym "You know what the Idf excuses prove? CORRECT ALL ALONG! Embarrassing! Fucking knockoff. What did I say about sullying my good name? At least be on the right side of things! Shit, you fucking suck! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

by Hym Iam April 6, 2024


EXCUSE ME MY NAME IS FAIRY

A tiktoker who puts this in like every tiktok they make and they think they are a “fAiRy

EXCUSE ME MY NAME IS FAIRY

by freak.bob May 20, 2022


excuses are like asses

Indicates the prevelance or abundance of a thing. Adds a negative connotation to what every you are comparing to assholes. Usually used as "blanks" are like asshole, everyone's got one.

Mustangs are like assholes, every one has one.

by tex May 24, 2004


grooming excuse

Any use of a feeble, or implausible excuse used by someone to escape from a conversation on a mind-numbing, or uninteresting topic for the listener. Refers to someone explaining their preference to 'wash their hair', 'do their nails' or some other such excuse, which would be an otherwise less desirable chore than having to suffer through listening to such a boring conversation.

These excuses were popular in sit-coms, where the lead actor wanted to extract laughter from the audience with the punchline illustrating the implausibility of the excuse being believed by the recipient.

Claire: When I came back with your wine you'd already left. What happened?

Steve: When that wine-snob came over to talk about the wine we were drinking, I had to use a grooming excuse to get out of there.

by WineBusProf February 21, 2015