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Ted Kennedy

The black sheep of the Kennedy family.
Ted Kennedy is a fat, babbling, drunken liberal bastard who is an embarrassment not only to his family, but to every Democrat as well. He's hard to understand sometimes when he's making public speeches. That is usually because he's doing it after drinking half the inventory in a liqour store.

Ted Kennedy woke up one morning after a long night of heavy boozing. He looked over, and his liver was sitting beside him drinking a cup of coffee.

by Ryan August 14, 2004

321๐Ÿ‘ 235๐Ÿ‘Ž


Ted Williams

A homeless man off interstate 71 in Columbus, Ohio. As a kid from Brooklyn he was motivated to become a radio producer when he went to a local station and saw a radio announcer who told him something that just set off neurons in his head: "Radio is defined: Theater of Mind." After listening to this announcer, he developed a liking for and gained an education in an attempt to better his voice.

After becoming a fulltime radio announcer he did what most of us do at some point of life, he got tired and fucked up. But being a man, he did something that most of us (especially ex-presidents and politicans) don't do, he admitted his mistakes and paid the consequences and has to panhandle on the streets.

He became famous after a local resident taped Williams and put up his video on youtube. Not only was Ted Williams nice enough to perform and work for his money, he was kind enough to give a heartwarming laugh, smile and follow up interview.

As of 2011 he was given a radio announcer position with the Cleveland Cavaliers.

I don't think I can ever be a superman, but dammit I can be a Ted Williams!

Is it just me or does Ted Williams and his voice both have an uncanny resemblance to Obama and his voice!

Khan would never put bum into the urbandictionary tag for Ted Williams, because that guy isn't a bum who sits on his ass all day, he's a homeless man who gets underpaid in donations from passerbys for his amazing voice!

by M.Ali.Khan January 6, 2011

25๐Ÿ‘ 13๐Ÿ‘Ž


Ted Bagel

To shit in a girl's pussy after completing intercourse; i.e. topping her bagel.

Last night I had amazing sex with this really hot girl! After I came, I turned around and gave her a Ted Bagel to top it all off.

by Sea Shell Sally March 25, 2011

5๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


Ted Wheeler

Ted Wheeler (45 y/o) is a character in Stranger Things, a Netflix original series. Ted is played by Joe Chrest.

Family:
Son- Mike Wheeler (13 y/o)
Daughter- Nancy Wheeler (17 y/o)
Daughter- Holly Wheeler (4 y/o)
Wife- Karen Wheeler (Late 30's)

Ted enjoys Chicken. Ted lives in Hawkin's, Indiana. Ted has brown hair and brown eyes.

"I hope you're enjoying your chicken Ted." -Karen
"What'd I do?!" -Ted Wheeler

by Mileven23 December 28, 2017

5๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


Ted Turner

Another liberal billionaire.
Once married Jane Fonda (after her affair with the Viet Cong).
See George Soros

The lesbian protester was unable to name any Republican billionaires.

by Sense December 2, 2004

57๐Ÿ‘ 36๐Ÿ‘Ž


Uncle Ted

A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees... This is not to be confused with Turd Burglar who is someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open.

Dude, I just got Uncle Tedded real bad. I was trying to take a dump, and some dude was in there looking in the mirror for like 10 minutes. Finally, I just had to let it loose.

by noahat May 5, 2009

85๐Ÿ‘ 58๐Ÿ‘Ž


Ted Kennedy

A cocktail made with vodka, Sprite (or other lemon-line soda), and grenadine. Basically a Shirley Temple with vodka. So named because girls named Mary Jo love to kill these drinks at parties, and Ted Kennedy killed a girl named Mary Jo after a party.

Me: I'll have a turkey 101, double, and my wife will have a Ted Kennedy.
Bartender: Done.

by j-mose April 13, 2011

15๐Ÿ‘ 7๐Ÿ‘Ž