Random
Source Code
Random
a handshake with yourself
Dick is satisfied with his boss, because of the firm and warm masturbation.
94👍 103👎
Put some mayonaise on the knuckle sandwich, shake hands with uncle dick
I was putting some mayonaise on my knuckle sandwich when my mom walked in
46👍 46👎
something a guy has to do every day if he hasnt had sex or it will come out at night in the form of a wet dream and mess up his boxers
130👍 150👎
playing with a women's pussy using (toys hands fruits)
Selena's so horny every morning I see a video of her doing masturbation on Pornhub
11👍 4👎
Waxing the Turtle or shaving the carrot.
Frederick woke up with a boner so he went in the bathroom and waxed his turtle.
He really needed to blow his load so he shaved the carrot in the shower.
"It means masturbate if you haven't got that ar tard!"
18👍 15👎
*some of the* slang words for masturbation: bashing the candle, Bleeding the weasel, bleedin the weed, buffing the banana, bopping the baloney, burping the worm, choking the chicken, cleaning your rifle, corking the bat, cranking the shank, cuffing the carrot, fisting your mister, flogging your dog, floggin the frog, flogging the hog, flogging the log, flute solo, jerkin'the gherkin, looping the mule, manual override, painting the pickle, pocket pinball, pocket pool, polishing the banister, polishing the rocket, pounding your flounder, pumping the python, roping the pony, spanking the monkey, teasing the weasel, tossing the turkey, walking the dog, whipping the willy, wonking your cronker, yanking the crank, and waxing your carrot.
Now... Banning fantasizing about your neighbors wife? Well what else is a man supposed to think about while he's waxing his carrotmasturbate?
-Source: George Carlin
35👍 34👎