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A town next to the industrial town Longview in Southwest Washington state. Longview and Kelso are both part of Cowlitz County.
There is hardly anything complimentary to say about this town. There are rarely any fun events to attend. It is very uncultured, poor, dirty, and is definitely not showing any signs of improvement. The air stinks with pollution from the mills in Longview, an open slew of stagnant water and sewage winds throughout all of Kelso, most of the neighborhoods are rundown, and there is a high rate of drugs, crime, assault, STDs, and sex offenders/child molesters.
The majority of people that live in Kelso are very trashy. Most people start out in life with a teenage pregnancy or two, drop out of highschool, maybe get into drugs, catch an STD, and learn to scam the system and live off SSI, foodstamps, HUD, and etc. since they have no education or job and no ambition to get one.
In general, a Kelso person loves drama and has a pack mentality; a very bad combination that causes them to keep that highschool drama queen/king personality through adulthood of judging others, always believing they're right, and hating anyone who's different or seemingly better than they are........all with the support of their pack of friends.
However, there are some respectable people in Kelso of course; even if they're living situations make them appear like the rest.
Something that happened to me before I moved out of Kelso/Longview:
Kelso/Longview chick: Hey b*tch! I don't like you! Don't look at me like that! I'll kick you're ass!
Me: Errr.....what? Who are you? I don't think I remember you.
Kelso/Longview chick: Shut up! You stay away from my man! He and my friends say you've been flirting with him and a bunch of other guys. He doesn't want your herpes you nasty ho! So back off!
Me: Ha Ha! What are you talking about? I only chatted with him for a couple minutes at the party and I am not a prostitute with herpes. You and your friends need to get your facts straight.
*I walk away shaking my head*
Kelso/Longview chick: Blah blah.....that's right you better run away!.....blah blah......I'll kick your ass........blah blah.
*I continue walking* Damn....I'm moving lout of Kelso, Washington and back to Olympia, Washington.
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the filler team in the NFC East
Damn we need a fourth team for the division...how bout the Washington Redskins?
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A large residential shithole that is the king of slums in Southeast Washington D.C.. If you don’t live here you have business being here. If you get lost in the District and end up here you really fucked up. Washington Highlands is among the most violent neighborhoods in the District of Columbia. Approximately one third of the city's 181 homicides in 2007 occurred there. On January 2008, city officials discovered that Washington Highlands resident Banita Jacks had been living for months in her row house with the bodies of her four murdered children in advanced states of decomposition upstairs.
(Guy 1): Let's go to Barry Farm's n get some green.. We should goto tha Highlands and get a hooker.
(Guy 2): Im down with Barry Farms but.....Washington Highlands???? Are you fucking crazy?!?
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Ranked the 7th worst city in America for 2007 Most Dangerous Crime Top 25 by Morgan Quitno Press. (Used to be the murder capital for many years in the 90's and 2003-04)
GUY 1) WASHINGTON DC AINT #1 ANYMORE MAN.
GUY 2) YEAH WE FELL RIGHT BEHIND BIRMINGHAM ALABAMA AT #7.
GUY 1) BAMAS....SHAKES HEAD
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The laughingstock of the MLB.
Doctor: "You know what'll cheer you up?"
Sick Patient: "What's that?"
Doctor: "WASHINGTON NATIONALS!"
Sick Patient: "Hahahahahahhaha!!11"
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A po-dunk hick town 30 mins south of Olympia. Used to be quiet. Now all the stupid big city people are jacking up the land/home prices! And they finally put in a MickeyDees. Great. Whats next, Walmart?
Go back to Seattle! Leave our cows alone! They do NOT tip over nicely! Its just a rumor!
Rochester, Washington. Home of the Warriors. Who used to be able to play football, now that I think about it....
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I ain’t no hollaback girl
Spoons, my friend, lives in Vancouver Washington
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