phantom limbs

A limb or appendage that a person feels is there, even though it's not. This usually has something to do with your brain thinking a preveously existing limb is still there, which is why phantom limbs are usually experienced by amputees. Many therians also experience phantom limbs of tails, wings, etc.

That person has phantom limbs.

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phantom poop

A massive poop is taken. On one wipe, the toilet paper shows no poop residue on it. Henceforth, the poop is phantom.

I could not believe I just took a phantom poop. It was like I didn't even go the paper was so clean!!!

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phantom masturbator

One who masturbates anonymously upon a friend's pillow

Damn, I can't believe you did that Andy Meyer, you phantom masturbator you!

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phantom jerker

One who constantly and furiously masturbates into his webcam while on chat roulette.

Credit to Ashley

"Yeah, tonight chatting I've met about 6 tools, four lonely guys in the dark, and three phantom jerkers."

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phantom tax

When a man nuts but no nut comes out. It is believed a phantom slurped up all the nut before the nut could come out, collecting its tax.

Sticking out your gyat with the rizzler. You're so skibidi, you're so phantom tax. I just want to be your sigma...

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phantom wank

The phantom jerk is performed when one is bored with casual conversation and wishes to cause a disturbance. Essentially, when the speaker enters an excessively boring stretch of context, the listener quickly makes a masturbating motion with one hand, never longer than one second in duration. Eye contact must be held, because the aim is to distract the speaker but appear to not have done anything. The follow-up must be perfect: remain emotionless, because otherwise the speaker will know what's up. They'll often ask what just happened, but the jerk-ee must deny all involvement.

Worker 1: Yeah, so at Tina's party last night, she got totally hammered, man. Afterwards we went to that new pub downtown, 'cause I heard they had some smashing sweet potato crisps, and-
Worker 2: *fapfapfap*
Worker 1: - some sort of new mixed dri.. What the fuck was that, mate?
Worker 2: What was what?
Worker 1: I could've sworn you just had a wank at me.
Worker 2: I haven't a clue what you're talking about. What're you implying? (Phantom wank successful.)

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phantom whipped

when a man posseses all the qualities of being whipped without having a girlfriend. This is a result of a guy trying to move up and get a girl out of his league and being stuck in the friend zone.

Greg: You hear Dan apoligized to Arielle by giving her a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup?"
Bret: "Wow he's so phantom whipped!"

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