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Jackoff with Jesus January

Jackoff with Jesus during January at anytime

โ€œHey man itโ€™s Jackoff with Jesus January you knowโ€

by Brando๐Ÿฅถ November 6, 2019


jesus h dick

When someone with a big dick fucks you

Jesus h dick that felt good

by Dndhbf January 16, 2018


jesus suffering fuck

The most awesomely hardcore blasphemous thing you can say. Try to reserve this amazing phrase to times which require a little extra. Like when the earth explodes, or you wake up to find a 50ft high dildo standing over your girlfriendโ€™s corpse quietly singing god save the queen.

Boss: You're fired. Oh and I fucked your wife and she died.
Miguel: Eh.
Boss: Wtf.
Miguel: My job and wife were boring me. Time to purge myself and move on.
Miguel (walking out yells over shoulder): Hey! By the way, that wasnt my wife. I put your wife in disguise.
Boss: JESUS SUFFERING FUCK!

by Grant Hayes May 6, 2005

53๐Ÿ‘ 41๐Ÿ‘Ž


go fuck jesus

something you say to smebody when they are complaining about you "not following rules" or "being rude" or if they are just being an annoying goody goody asshole. Can also be used on Jesus Freaks.

Person #1- Hey! you shouldn't do that!

Person #2- Go fuck jesus.

by LolointheSkywithDiamonds July 27, 2008

24๐Ÿ‘ 16๐Ÿ‘Ž


Jesus Tapdancing Christ

An exclamation showing extreme surprise, anger, frusteration, or pain. Because it is mildly blasphemous, it should be used only under the most extreme of negative situations.

I think my left not just got run over by a car...JESUS TAPDANCING CHRIST!

by Crazy Dick July 5, 2003

47๐Ÿ‘ 35๐Ÿ‘Ž


Jesus loves me

1. A phrase used mostly by Christians, but also by anyone else when they realize everyone hates them as a desperate attempt to instill some feeling of self-worth. This works wonders on low self-esteem, by reminding yourself that even though everyone else wants to strangle you, your imaginary friend Jesus will love you no matter what.

2. The title of a song, created for the same purpose but has a catchy tune.

1. Dude: Everyone hates you.
Loser: Well...Jesus still loves me!

2. Through out the neighborhood, the words rang strong and clear: "Jesus loooves me this I knoooow, for the Bible tells me soooo. Little ones to him belong, they are weak but he is strong! Yessss Jesus loves meeeee, Yessss Jesus loves meeee...."
And everyone knew, that Sam had been dumped yet again.

by What's it to you? July 22, 2006

48๐Ÿ‘ 36๐Ÿ‘Ž


Jersey Jesus Walker

A woman wearing a floor-length maxi dress (most likely with spaghetti straps) made of jersey, resembling Jesus in his robes.

JJWs usually wear gladiator sandals and have a blatant disregard for the rule of summer that demands bare legs.

"Gross...there's another Jersey Jesus Walker hiding her cankles."

by flosie August 3, 2009

10๐Ÿ‘ 5๐Ÿ‘Ž