Peanut Butter and Jealous

A strong feeling of envy over another's delicious-looking PB&J sandwich.

The other day I made the most delicious triple decker PB&J sandwich, and when I got to my table, it was so obvious that everyone else was peanut butter and jealous.

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a cow made of butter

My girls would love this. In fact, the first sentence Caroline ever said was, “I like butter”.

Wow. A cow made of butter. My girls would love this. In fact, the first sentence Caroline ever said was, “I like butter”.

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Lumpy Peanut Butter

Accomplishing a Lumpy Peanut Butter is no walk in the park. Many have failed resulting in massive injury. The first step in completing this amazing feat requires courage. First, the male (or shemale) will stick is entire scrotum into an inhabitted wasps nest and rapidly shake and thrash about as if the person was having a seizure. Next, the person will submerge their now lumpy sack into a jar of skippies peanut butter. Finally, the person will hang closely infront of a pack of starving wolves and wave their now perfectly prepaired testicles in a taunting manner. They will ultimately be torn to shreds resulting in the greatest high of all time, otherwise known a s a super high.

Andy- Hey man i just did a Lumpy Peanut Butter!
Josh- Wow really?! How was it?
Andy- FUCKING AWESOME!!!

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peanut butter munching

The act of placing peanut butter on ones own genetailia or anus and allowing ones pet, usually a dog, to lick the peanut butter off. causing an orgasm

JESSE: i let my dog munch peanut butter off my asshole

CANDI: That's hot!!!, i should try PEANUT BUTTER MUNCHING!!

BOBBIE: you're a fucking sicko

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Buttering the Corn Cob

Male; to masturbate. See also Shining the Torpedo.

If I don't get any action on my date, I'll be buttering the corn cob later tonight.

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Butter Wouldn’t Melt

The original expression was “Butter wouldn’t melt in his/her mouth”. What this means is when you find someone, a child or animal who is quite obviously responsible for some misdemeanour and they deny it and look at you with an expression of angelic innocence and, in spite of all the evidence continue to lie, that’s when you say that Butter Wouldn’t Melt.

“It wasn’t me that broke the jug, it was the dog.”
“We haven’t got a dog.”
“It came in from outside, it wasn’t me.”
“Oh yeah, and I suppose butter wouldn’t melt!”

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Peanut Butter Smack

After a long drawn out blow job, the man scoops some peanut butter into his hand and smacks the woman across her face and says, "how you like that bitch."

man: i'm gonna cum

woman: really?

man: NO! *PEANUT BUTTER SMACK*

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