Don't worry, you're not the only one.
"I'm an idiot."
used when you just fucking hate yourself
Guy 1: "Have you seen my hat?"
Guy 2: "It's on your head..."
Guy 1: "I'm an idiot"
It means you don't believe someone. You either think they are embellishing their abilities to look better or they are downright liars.
You're a rocket scientist yet working at McD's. I'm claiming shine.
Your resume says you have 10 degrees from Harvard and 4 from Oxford. I'm claiming shine.
He says he earns a million dollars a year and only lives in Compton to be close to his family. I'm claiming shine.
Used to make fun of yourself in a playfull manner, or to make the conversation your having less awkward
"Haha- I'm a meme, right?"
I see you’re bored. You are so bored that you even look for meaningless phrases.
Tim: I’m bored. I’ll search “ I'm not holding on to you. I've got my entire knee.“.
Robert: What?
Become self-employed.
since I'm my own boss, my hours are flexible
A phrase often said by annoying high school girls right before taking a test that they know they most certainly will not fail.
Girl 1: "I'm going to fail this test"
Everyone else: "You literally studied more than this entire class combined, STFU-"