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Something that makes anything seem harmless even if it really isn't.
Emperor Judge- Would you like firing squad, hanging by the neck, or getting sawed in half by two midgets wearing elf hats?
First convict (with all the menacing humorless brevity he can muster)- I'll take firing squad, I'm firing squad hard. I was born a marine, so I don't have to actually join the armed forces to be what I'm destined to be.
Emperor judge- Okay, you got it, firing squad it is for you.
Emperor judge to second convict- Would you like firing squad, hanging by the neck, or getting sawed in half by two midgets?
Second convict- I've always been a roughneck, so I'll take hanging by the neck to show em' even if I die, I can still hang.
Emperor judge- Okay, we will hang you, it should be fun!
Emperor judge to third convict- What about you, do you want firing squad, hanging by the neck, or getting sawed in half by two midgets wearing elf hats?
Third convict- I'll take getting sawed in half by two midgets wearing elf hats for 5,000 Trebek!
Emperor judge- I don't think I've ever met a convict so eager to die. Before you start thinking this is going to be funny, you do know how long it is actually going to take two midgets to cut you in half and split you don't you? They have to reciporicate about four times for every one time a regular person has to do it, it's not going to be fun for you, but I'm going to order a feast to watch my favorite kind of execution.
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A gay man who enjoys tenderising and avoids the Grinch.
'Darren is the Chief Elf'
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describing a woman's clitoris, the small pink ball of nerves above a woman's vagina that resembles a small nose.
That's not a tiny penis, it's her elf nose.
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an elf that tangles up your electronic cords
a damn tangle elf fucked up my xbox last night.
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When a person, no more than 3 feet high, dressed in a green outfit with a goofy hat provides you, and/or Santa a reach-around. Especially in malls and parades.
Uncle Kevin, while dressed in a Santa outfit at his work party got an elf around while asking little Joey what he wants for Christmas.
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Refers to some men who live in large urban areas and have surrendered, lost, or never had a strong sense of traditional masculinity, partly due to the urban culture and lack of contact with nature.
Instead of engaging in traditional male activities they live very 'safe' lifestyles, often feminized. They eschew hunting, fishing, camping, the outdoors, self-sufficiency, or repairing things that break. Instead they prefer hanging out in coffee shops, trendy cafes, nightclubs, and working on Wall Street. They have totally absorbed the dogma of PC behavior and act highly offended at any evidence of thinking that does not resemble their own. The especially look down on rural folk and think anyone not from a city on the east coast or southern California is an ignorant redneck in the south. They engage in virtue signalling in a melodramatic manner, often in front of an audience of minorities and women.
'Louis CK' is a perfect example. As are most actors, white collar workers and corporate employees, They typically don't own cars and think NYC is the center of the universe. The city park is their only contact with soil and grass.
(Related to 'metro-sexual' but refers to more than just a style of dress. Also, it does NOT refer to gay men, though some gays may be considered Urban Elves).
"Those urban elves wouldn't survive one night alone in the woods. Most of them have likely never used a firearm and can't even manage a large knife."
"Urban males have become pussified, soft, and stuck in PC culture and attitudes. This urban elf needs to learn to be a man again."
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Seems the elf-esteem's not all it's played to be.
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