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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.
Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There we no survivors.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris can beleive it's not butter.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a guy, its not because he is gay, its because he has ran out of women
The man who invented the roundhouse kick is none other than Chuck Norris
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the most badass motherfucker in the world... and if you think you're more badass than him... ur probably already dead by now!
chuck norris once went to the doctor to test for steroids... he gave a urine sample and the doctor said it came up 100% positive for steroids, he simply replied, "where the hell do you think they even get steroids?"
because in fact, chuck norris's pee is steroids
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A grown-ass MAN. Manliest man alive. Doesnt take shit from anyone, show Chuck Norris respect or he'll roundhouse kick you in the face
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't cry.
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The greatest Ass-kicking Kung-fu-fighting super-power man EVER! He can do anything!!!!!
Chuck Norris is not only a noun, but a verb, adjective, pronoun, participle, and any other part of speech you can think of (and even ones you can't!)
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
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Chuck Norris is the mightiest man alive. He will kill your family and eat your soul. His roundhouse kicks have been known to destroy worlds. All your base are belong to him.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
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The baddest man on the planet.
There's no such thing as evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
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The badest mofo of dem all. DONT F*%K WITH CHUCK!!!
When chuck norris jumps into a pool, he doesn't get wet, the pool gets chucked.
One day a man asked chuck norris if his real name was charles. Chuck norris did not respond, but rather stared at him until he exploded.
Chuck norris doesn't have AIDS but he gives them to people anyway.
If you can see chuck norris he can see you. If you can't see chuck norris, you may be only be seconds away from death.
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