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British slang for male masturbation.
Someone who jacks off.
Not to be confused with Willy Wonka.
He masturbates all the time. He is such a willy wanker.
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Cry-Wanker: A man who has befriended a large number of attractive women, yet is simply unable to seduce any of them (which in turn causes him to cry whilst masturbating).
Also know as 'a-shoulder-to-cry-on', Cry-Wankers masquerade as 'nice-guys' in order to obtain a female's trust. As a result, Cry-Wankers are perceived to be non-threatening and are allowed close proximity to their 'friends', enabling them to warn said friends of other, more competent males.
Cry-Wankers are often coy and deceptive individuals, who lack the confidence to approach women in an ordinary manor. Due to this, they begrudgingly build long-standing friendship with women, in the hope that their targets will one day view them in a sexual nature. Thus, the Cry-Wanker able to masturbate normally, with a smile upon his face.
Cry-Wanker: It should have been meeeeeeeeee.
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Any one of the million or so neat neck-tie New York or London or San Fran bankers, traders, and/or financial types who troll otherwise hipster, posh bars or clubs claiming to actually be interested in art, culture, and the human condition when hitting on women otherwise way out of their league but for their singular monetary standing.
Usually spawned from ivy league Universities.
Attractive Girl #1: I love that film, can't believe it's been so long since I've seen it.
Attractive Girl #2: It was on IFC last night, I didn't even know I got the channel.
Wanker Banker: As much as I agree, I still think the book was better.
Attractive Girl #2: It's a documentary, ass.
(Wanker Banker shrugs, pretends to see some friends, angles towards the bar)
Attractive Girl #1: Fucking wank-bank.
or
Simone: What're they gonna do?
Marlene: I dunno, go back to her place.
Wanker-banker: My flat's not far from here, has a terrace with a view of the city.
Simon: Good for you.
Wanker Banker: I'm just sayin'-
Marlene: Dear gawd, this is the worst night of my life. We officially look like coke whores. Why else would a wanker banker assume he and his cheese dick button down could summon us to his apartment via cuff links and slacks ?
Simone: What a fucktard.
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City workers with folding bikes (Brompton). The most annoying being the ones that decide to fold/unfold the bike on the train before they get on/of causing carriage congestion.
Fucking Brompton Wanker!
A British insult. Usually "bloody" means "fucking" in America. Bloody wanker would mean in America "fucking dickhead"
That bloody wanker cut me off.
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A real low-down loser.
British for habitual shameless masturbator
That dirty wanker took my wallet!
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The row of LEDs under the main headlights on any new Audi. They always seem to be lit, no matter how bright the sun is on any particular day. They serve no purpose other than to alert other road users to the fact that the driver of the Audi owns an Audi, and that their Audi goes faster than your car. Unless you own a Porsche.
"Oh look, an Audi driver has driven right up behind me with his Wanker Lanterns on."
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