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Jesus H. Christ

An exclamatory statement made to show intense emotion. The "H" stands for Helen, which is Jesus' middle name.

"I just wanna lather myself up with heavy whipping cream and roll around the kitchen"
"Jesus H. Christ, please stop talking right now. Also, the H in that sentence stood for Helen."
"Okay.

by HAMonWRY June 15, 2019


Jesus’ Skin Flute

My first pipe, may it rest in pieces.

Grayson: yooo Preston wake up, we finna smoke, I got JSF ( Jesus’ skin flute )loaded and ready to go.

Preston: alright man lemme wake up

Grayson: hands it to Preston like a fucking retard and drops it.

by Swampass February 22, 2021


jesus jerk off

After finishing nonutnovember and glancing at the picture of Jesus being crucified you immediately cream your jimmies. Such an event happens ounce every blue moon and is usually followed by an isis beheading.

Damn bro I had a jesus jerk off last night I was cleaning it up for hours.

by Overitus_Manhadalitus February 5, 2018


jesus antonio martinez

Greatest man you can ever meet.Strongest man you can ever meet. Always picks the right girlfriend and a girl who has him is the luckiest girl in the world.

Jesus Antonio Martinez is awesome he is a pro at basketball he is so great maybe the greatest person i ever met and has a beautiful girlfriend she is so lucky to have him he is dreamy and really strong .

by green gazes March 14, 2018


2 inches for jesus

"2 Inches for Jesus" is the appropriate distance between a girl and boy during a dance, often seen at school proms.

2 inches for jesus is used in a sentence to inform people the correct distance between them to dance, as to not be too provocative

"Leave two inches for jesus" said the principle at the school dance

by Gonkaholic March 6, 2023


seeing Jesus in the toast

to see a pattern of something that is not really there or not formed by your believed cause.

Alex is really seeing Jesus in the toast when he claims that the Illuminati are communicating through magazine covers.

by Citation Puffin January 11, 2015


House hunting with Jesus

A near death experience where you are so close to death that you are picking out your final eternal home with your metaphorical savior.

It took the paramedics forever to get Jake back. Guy was house hunting with Jesus for a 20 solid minutes.

by Kungfu Panda Express December 11, 2020