Check your Totem

A reference from the Christopher Nolan movie Inception that suggests that a person should examine their totem (small personal object) in order to determine whether they are in reality or in delusional dreamland.

Intended to be used sarcastically.

D-Bag: "I swear every b**** in that club wanted my D."

Smugster: Go Check your Totem.

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shit on your parade

Said before telling someone bad news.
(Another way of saying rain on your parade.)

I hate to shit on your parade, but your dog just died.

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Pump Your Tires

To compliment; to inflate someone's ego

Hey man, I'm not trying to pump your tires, but your performance tonight was amazing. Great job!

I'm not trying to pump my own tires or anything, but my homemade chocolate chip cookies are to die for!

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What's your problem

Used to suggest a problem in another's mental state. This is a response to an unprovoked statement or inappropriate action. Can also be used in third person.

"What's up Eric?"
"Fuck off Gil, next time I see you I'm gonna beat your ass and give you an Abe Lincoln"
"What's your problem man?"

(Gina finds her brother masturbating on her bed in the nude)
"You couldn't walk down the hall to do that Phil?!?! What's your problem?!?!?"

"Yo Jennifer always flips out every time I try space docking"
"What's her problem?"

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notch in your bedpost

one more person you've fucked. Similar to the expression "under the belt" or "in the bank." As popularized by Fall Out Boy.

I'm just a notch in your bedpost.

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enjoy your AIDS

A 4chan meme that expresses contempt and disapproval

Poster 1: WOW THAT"S HAWT!
Poster 2: Yeah... sure it is. Enjoy your AIDS.

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cool your tits

a phrase used to tell someone to calm down or step off.

"Oh my god, you ass, you spilled your soda all over my lab report! i worked all night on that!"

"cool your tits, you can print another one!"

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