Java

A slow, horrific language that takes a shit on everything that made C++ good in order to be easier to use. Ironically, it's harder and more frustrating.

Java: Oh boy, let's have fun with our interpreter, garbage collector, and enforced bad Object-Oriented practices!

C++: You're a horrible person and you should feel bad.

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java

A word used by english speakers - american english, specificaly - meaning a hot drink made with boiling water and toasted coffee grains powder.

Hold on a second, let me fix up a java for us.

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Java

Slang for anal sex. Javascript works across all systems, as anal sex works across all people. Hence: Java=Anal Sex.

Ex 1: Dude, I convinced her to have java with me last night. It was so awesome until her IBS kicked in. I'm still scraping chocolate pudding off of my popsicle stick.

Ex2: Oh gross! Those two guys are having java in public in BROAD DAYLIGHT!

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java

One of the best drinks ever put on this earth.

I need a cup of java.

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java

A programming language hated by many C and C++ programmers because of its lack of pointers and pointer arithmetic to directly access memory.
This is because the guys who made Java thought pointers are ZoMG OVERPOWERED! and can be a security threat, so instead they use something called "references". (which C and C++ also have, but pointers are more fun because you can change what they're pointing to, wheras each reference can only reference one, specific thing(and only Java objects) for Java )

C programmer: Fucking Java. It sucks. Not worth my time.
Java programmer: But it's multiplatform!
C programmer: How can you write serious code without pointers? In Java are you actually limited to FØRTRAN style problems: no linked lists, no queues etc?
Java programmer: But...virtual machine!
C programmer: Which is why it's so slow.

Random gang member walks in: yo dawg i heard you like operating systems, so we put a virtual machine in your machine so you can process data while processing

C programmer: Get a job!

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Java

Word that is usually followed with the phrase mmmkay, often used by middle aged computer science teachers trying to describe the future of computers.

Its java, mkay! Its the future of programming, mkay.

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Java

An overrated programming language

C is better than Java

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