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A double handjob.
According to the song by Pansy Division...
"it takes 3 guys to do it right,
(they're gay, so could be 1 girl & 2 guys)
1 on the left and 1 on the right.
..just get your hands around two poles,
move 'em up and down in a steady motion"
Jim and I took Lisa "Alpine Skiing" and she was covered in "white" in no time.
You know those twins, Blaine and Blake? Well, when I saw the huge bulges in their pants I just had to take them to my room for some "Alpine Skiing" I could barely get my hands around their poles.
96👍 25👎
Intercourse that consists of the female laying on her stomach while the man sits on her lower back facing the opposite way - thrusting his cock between her butt checks while using her legs as leverage (in a rowing position) .
He can't afford any more child support so he did the alpine row to her last night.
While giving oral sex, open up pussy and scream as loud as possible. The shock waves emitted creates 100% orgasm
Guy #1: What did you guys do last night?
Guy #2: I took her out to dinner and brought her back home for a little Alpine Screamer.
Guy #1: Someone came last night
42👍 11👎
These are some of the fastest athletes in the world unaided by machines. The best of the best break 90 mph. Or 95. Those who wish to criticize the awesomeness of the sport cite a lack of physical conditioning necessary among racers. Perhaps these people are more familiar with recreational skiing. Being truly competitive on the slopes requires strength as well as endurance. As well as skill. Not to mention courage the courage required to throw oneself off of an ice ledge onto a 45 degree skating rink where harassed repeatedly by hard-plastic poles.
A: I do nordic bro, I'm so fast!
B: Ever heard of alpine skiing?
A: yeah but it was too cool for me. I though it would be more fun to ski up hills than down them.
44👍 14👎
A Canadian past time when you shove a fist full if spruce tree needles into someones anus. Once said fist has been inserted, you release the needles and withdraw your hand.
That alpine punch made me shit needles for days.
A greeting among friends mountaineering together. While climbing a straight route up the fall-line, the lead climber waits until his colleagues are distracted, and lowers his pants to expose his buttocks. While wagging his exposed posterior back and forth in a sexually suggestive manner, he calls out "Alpine HELLO!" in his best Swiss or German accent, with a flamboyant emphasis on the "hello". Bonus points are awarded if the timing is such that the next climber accidently plants his face in the expedition leader's backside.
NB: Not to be confused with the sub-alpine hello.
When we were climbing Mount Washington, I gave Tom an alpine hello that he will not soon forget!
10👍 3👎
Alpine style refers to mountaineering in a self-sufficient manner, thereby carrying all of one's food, shelter, equipment etc. as one climbs.
He decided to climb Denali alpine style to save time before the storm moved in.
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