my ass in my hands

When you’re in a bad situation.

So I was at the gas station right, and a dude points a gun at me and tell me to give me everything you got now! Now i’m standing there with my ass in my hands and all i’m trying to do is buy my shit and leave.

grab your ass with both hands

To take control of your situation.

Imagine you are stuck and would push ahead with your hands. Now imagine you are grabbing your ass with both hands to push yourself along.

Or grabbing your ass with both hands to lift yourself out of a problem.

Similar to pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, except more evocative.

My crisis-prone neighbor was whining about her latest self-inflicted fiasco.

I told her "grab your ass with both hands" and went out for a beer with my friends.

having your ass handed to you

Getting completely, utterly and totally beaten, defeated and crushed at a game, challenge or debate. Often computer based. Can be extended through the phrase "... on a plate"

When playing Halo 3, there was nothing more embarrassing for Duncan than having his ass handed to him by his girlfriend

"Matt, having your ass handed to you a couple of times can teach you a little humility"

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getting their asses handed to them

When a non-descript group of two or more individuals are riddled with machine gun bullets.

The imitators/impersonators are getting their asses handed to them by Gs.

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have your ass handed to you

To be beaten like a Blind, Deaf, Dumb, Quadriplegic, Midget Hooker who owes her Pimp money.

A one punch TKO, wow the champ got his ass Handed to him.

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got your ass handed to you

Used in the popular TV show "The Big Bang Theory" when Penny and Amy beat Sheldon and Leonard in Pictionary. 'Got Your Ass Handed To You' is a phrase to mean something along the lines of 'You Just Got Thrashed!"

Penny: I wonder where the phrase Got Your Ass Handed To You originated. Maybe it's from ancient Rome where they'd actually chop off someones ass and be like HERE! You know to appease the god Loseronius.. The god of LOSERS
Sheldon: ._.

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my ass handed to me

It Means Geeting Beated Very Hard

Joe : I'll Beat the hell out of those assholes but if I do I'll get my ass handed to me

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