Autograph session

The process of trying to get oneself clean after a shit that leaves your butthole agape. Most common after a dropping a deuce with the consistency of Georgia Red Clay.

Why were you in the bathroom so long?" "I was actually done pretty quick, but then it turned into an autograph session when I was wiping my ass. I still don't feel clean...I just know my butt's going to be itchy later.

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poor man's autograph

When having sex, contact with the males fist into the females nose giving the female a bloody nose. After blood comes out, the males signs his name on the females chest.

"I gave that bitch a poor man's autograph."

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Autograph HER iPad, I'd Like To

Double entendre, stemming from HotForWords' offer of a chance to win an autographed iPad by joining a site she linked to from her lesson on "Double Entendre" ("I'd like to double HER entendre" - The Todd, SCRUBS)

You won an iPad that HotForWords autographed? Oooh ... (Yoda say) Autograph HER iPad, I'd Like To ... Yehhhhhhhhhhhs!

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Autograph

As much as some teenage girls want to take credit for being the one to make someone's life hell, a guy signing autographs is not going through a living hell, because he's not having his fingernails or toenails pulled off one by one, or being taken back to the middle ages with various torture devices (true living hell). Wasted time (autographs) and waiting somewhere longer than you should while things move slowly is all purgatory. Get your realms and their definitions straight before you start trying to tell other people about telling shit straight.

The guy signing autographs was certainly in living purgatory, but their wasn't enough actual physical pain to call it anything close to living he'll. Corporal punishment is closer to the realm of living hell (as a mind state or otherwise), and actual torture (not psychological or watching a traumatic movie about it) is closer to true living hell, if there is such a thing. Most of the people who say they made this or that person's life hell are really just pretentious frauds.

A soldier asked Eminem for his autograph

A soldier
asked Eminem for his autograph.
Eminem replied,

Sure, if I can have yours.

Hey dido, did you know a soldier asked Eminem for his autograph?

Oh? Thats news to me bub!

Autograph Beggar

The websites that force you to provide your details and SIGN in

For fucks sake, I only want to add an expression to Urban Dictionary and they are begging my autograph again.

Too many autograph beggar

autographic

a visual imprint to the brain of a car

I will slash his tires. I know what he drives. I have an autographic memory