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Random
Bruises you wake up with on your legs from walking into things drunk the night before.
*Guy 1* Man my legs hurt for some reason.
*guy 2* Oh you have Morning Bruises
someone who is pushing there luck and likely to become physically assulted for their actions
Rob) Can you please stop smoking in here, it stinks!
Dude) You're cruising for a bruising mate, do you wanna ask anything else?
Rob) <exits room>
85👍 11👎
A bruise or bruises found on someone's knee making it look as though they've given a ton of Blow Jobs recently. The bruise can be from anything but has to be on one or both knees. The bigger the bruise the bigger the slut.
Suzy "omg look at Trina's knees!"
Jenny "those are some pretty huge slut bruises, her boyfriend must be happy!"
32👍 3👎
Mystery bruises caused by a night out with the beer monster, which you have NO MEMORY AT ALL of obtaining.
Particularly impressive when found on the face, possibly from calling Jesus on the porcelain telephone.
Ouch, what the hell was I doing last night!? And where am I? And why is there diced carrot in my hair!?
58👍 9👎
Similar to jacking off, but standing in a dark corner and sobbing while doing the act.
He really enjoys bruising the banana.
bruises that mysteriously appear after a night of heavy drinking
Dude, I must have been partying pretty hard last night cuz I have a wicked crop of booze bruises this morning.
27👍 3👎
A bruise with a cut on top of it. It may or may not bleed. This particular injury is usually associated with core sports activity.
<a man skateboarding falls> Dude what you'd get... a bruise-cut?