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chinese calendar

When you fuck an Asian or Chinese girl in 365 different positions over the course of 1 round of intercourse.

I went to Chinese buffet last night and ended up Chinese calendaring one of the waitresses.

by Chinese Calendar January 16, 2017


nadvent calendar

An advent calendar like any other with 24 windows counting down the days until Christmas. Behind each cardboard flap is the severed testicals of an orphan to reward the eager child.

"Mummy bought me the wrong nadvent calendar this year... i don't like the black ones!"

by Jarlinean June 7, 2006

46๐Ÿ‘ 8๐Ÿ‘Ž


Calendar Man

To be messed up and have a disordered life. Not having a path in life and ambitions as well as goals. Refers to needing a calendar to sort out one's life.

Chloe: " Michelle you're so awesome and better than me! I don't know what I want to do with my life!"
Michelle: " Ahh gyal dem you's a calendar man."

by michelledomination November 28, 2015


Calendar surfing

The act of looking through shared office calendars of other employees to find meetings to join even though you weren't invited. This is to fill up your own calendar and make it look like you're busy. At the meeting you're pretending to listen but just space out and nod once in a while to make a believable impression.

Johnny was calendar surfing yesterday, getting no real work done, just passing time at meetings.

by TheManWithTheHarmonica September 14, 2012


stalker calendar

A makeshift calendar kept in your head so there's no evidence; used to stalk someone you're obsessed with. It is compiled mainly from readily available information made public on social networking sites, and through eavesdropping, lurking, gossip, and rumor.

Jill: You know Brit's gonna be at the party next week, right?
Jack: Oh, for sure. Had that shit marked on my stalker calendar for weeks.

Jill: I have a crush on your friend John...
Jack: Want me to have him add you as a friend?
Jill: No, it's cool...I always know what he's doing. He RSVPs to events, says where he's at in his status, and we have enough mutual friends for me to start a decent stalker calendar.

Jill to Jane: Wanna meet at StarB's Tuesday?
Jane: Yeah, like 8:00?
Jack (lurking ten feet away) to self: Sweet!

Jill: Funny how we keep showing up at the same spots!
Jack: Isn't it?
Jack to self: Thank you, stalker calendar!

by nearly civilized January 5, 2010

10๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


Calendar Friend

The term for a close friend whom you used to hang out with often, but now see only rarely such as at birthday parties for mutual friends and other special social events. Often these encounters are awkward as mutual friends bring you together obligatorially, not voluntarily.

Friend 1: "Have you seen or spoken to Bob at all?"

Friend 2: "No, I haven't. We used to hang all the time, but kind of had a falling out and we don't talk all that much any more. He's just a calendar friend."

by Epinionator September 27, 2010


Pleasure Calendar

A pleasure calendar is similar to an advent calendar, in the sense that each day during the run-up to Christmas, the person to whom the calendar belongs will open a door with a number that corresponds with the date. Only, unlike an advent calendar, the pleasure calendar is commonly given between couples as a way to treat the other person with acts of intimacy or sexual relations. One person will buy the calendar and write down small treats for their partner on paper (e.g. shoulder massage, bathe together, cuddle), which they will place inside the calendar. Then, when the person who owns the calendar opens the door for that day, they will take out the slip of paper and are able to use that piece of paper as a coupon of some sort. They can either choose to use it on the day they receive it, or save up their 'coupons' and use multiple in one day.

(Pleasure calendars are hand-made, not available in stores. Those who give them as gifts will either buy an advent calendar and replace the chocolate with paper slips, buy a blank calendar that allows them to insert whatever they wish, or make the whole thing from scratch.)

Example of things you might find written in a pleasure calendar:
- 'Partner will cook dinner'
- 'Cuddle on couch'
- 'Shoulder massage'
- 'Take a bath together'

Example of a pleasure calendar being given:
Nate: "Baby, I bought you a pleasure calendar."
Roxy: "Wow, thanks!"
December 1st - Roxy opens the calendar to find a slip of paper that reads 'Cuddle session'

by yourfriendlyirishpotato October 6, 2019