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I love her because she loves me and brings me toys. She is the best Hanukkah magic ever!
I asked Yenta Claus to come to my house.
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1 Black people santa
2 After that fat bitch come out the chimney covered in soot, looking like an absolute NIGGER
“Hi tyrone, what’ve you asked for from Nigger Claus??”
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Jewish folklore, a way cool older woman that's nice and really funny. She brings kids toys, especially us really good Jewish kids who Santa seems to forget, or who because we are Jewish, Santa isn't allowed to sneek into our houses by slipping down the chimney or if you live in an apartment with out a chimney altogether. Just don't tell Rabbi Ebenezer. Pretty please with icecream and sugar on top. I promise to be good all year if you let me believe.
"You'd better not kvetch, or eat chozzerai, You'd better not greps, I'm telling you why... Yenta Claus in coming to town!"
or
"She is such a nice Yenta! And to think we have a real Bubbie that brings the kinderlach such nice toys! Don't tell Rabbi Ebenezer about Yenta Claus or else it's no more toys and back to getting that nasty lump of coal!"
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Every Dankmas or Danky morning, day, evening or night Father Cannabis defends his bong of joy to deliver vast quantities of illicit substances to unexpecting but welcoming individuals. Man of few words, Danky Claus appears, jeers the crowd, lights his spliff and has to dip, if you trip he'll help you quick, blowing smoke "OH, OH, OH's" to all before he drips. He is married to a lass named Mandy(UK), or Molly(US) (nee X) and only begins his shift after his time with his wife.
He enjoys vacationing in his houses in Amsterdam, Thailand, and Jamaica, his favourite puffin stuff is Amnesia Haze, but he does enjoy the occasional Skunk. While not tending to the wellbeing of his believers and vacationing he enjoys raves, his hip hop career, and making art. Happy Dankmas to all.
"Fuck man, oh no, where dat weed at!?"
Danky Claus- "Oh yeah! Here dat weed at! Merry Dankmas!"
"Thanks Danky Claus!"
Danky Claus- "Hey its all good my dude, I mean this with all my Dankmas cheer, shut up and have a spliff!"
"Yaaaaaaay"
...
Oh yeah...
...
Food...
...
ZZZ...
(Repeat)
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a pedophile who comes into homes looking for children from the ages of 2-9 to molest. He comes down the chimey, eats the cookies and milk the kids leave out, goes upstairs to molest the children, and then leaves a present thanking the little ones for their service.
Mom: "What are you asking Santa Claus for this christmas."
Kid : " A tazer."
Mom: "Why would you ask for that?!"
Kid: "So he can stop coming to our house. He takes off my clothes and makes me do weird things. A tazer could stop him for sure."
Mom: ......
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A red communist fat ass who doesn't know how to shave and owes me a pogo stick.
Santa Claus: Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
Me: There is nothing good about who you are or what you do.
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The mythical figure said to visit stoners that have been good in the last Weed Year, leaving them presents on 4/20 eve to reward them for their good behavior.
Ganja Claus is most often pictured as a jolly old rasta with long dredlocks, dressed head to toe in green. Rumours state that he flies through the sky on a lawn chair pulled by 8 giant sloths
dude: "you gonna roll another one?"
other dude: "nah we've only got a ten bag left any dan will need a spliff after work..."
dude: "wow man, that's nice of you. I hope Ganja Claus is watching..."
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