Bonza Constant

The Bonza Constant is a phenomenon that occurs in the online gaming/social interaction world wherein one participant in a conversation will often claim to have muted another participant in a conversation, however, on further inspection, almost always fails to follow through on this claim and can be found out with a series of social engineering tricks.

"That's it. You're muted."
"ok bobo - you mad though?"

"I'm not mad!"

"lol Bonza Constant"

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Constant Vigilance

Being on guard 24/7 and being ready for anything. Commonly seen during fierce dodgeball matches and the occasional game of four square.

Austin yelled "CONSTANT VIGILANCE" while dodging a ball

dodgeball camp intensity camp eagle feather four square

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Wadsworth Constant

The Wadsworth Constant states that the first 30% of any YouTube video can be skipped as it is irrelevant.

Go to YouTube - pick any video and skip to 30%. Rewatch the whole video and see if the bit you missed at the beginning adds anything. If not the Wadsworth Constant is in action.

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constant chimer

A person who constantly "chimes in" during a time when he or she has no business being in the conversation. This typically occurs when a person feels that they are being left out of the topic in discussion. In fear that the conversation will lead to other topics that they know absolutely nothing about, this person will say something everybody already knows to try and make oneself seem relevant to the conversation.

Kyle: "Yo man, I'm gettin' sick of these bitch-ass penalties being called every sunday."

Jason: "No kidding. On the reals, Goodell should be fir-"

Tim (Not only is he pulling an inappropriate chime, but hes cutting off the other person): "They are ruining the game!"

Jason: "No shit you dumbass. Why do you think we are talking about this in the first place? So put those two cents back in your pocket and shut the fuck up!"

Kyle: "Yeah man, you don't even watch football..Goddamn constant chimer."

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Douchebag Constant

1. A special, real number that normalizes the ratio of douchebags in a conversation to the amount of time it takes for one or more of them to be called out as such.

Time to call-out = Douchebag Constant * (time / douchebags); tc = DBC(t / d)

Wadsworth Constant

The Wadsworth constant, first postulated by Redditor Wadsworth, states that one can skip the first thirty percent of most videos while still maintaining the integrity of the content.

The constant itself is indicated by the lower case Greek letter Xi (ξ).

By applying the Wadsworth Constant to the above text, we find that it is shortened to a much more readable version.

"One can skip the first thirty percent of most videos while still maintaining the integrity of the content."

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Higginbotham's Constant

Higginbotham's Constant (denoted as lower-case 'h') is a mathematical constant which represents the total sum of all practical intelligence on any given planet.

The implication is that the higher the population of sentient beings on the planet, the lower the average intelligence will be among any large sample set. This does not preclude beings of higher intellect, but it requires that on average, there is one person as far below average as the former being is above average.

Person 1: "Why does it seem like the people staffing the company helpdesk get dumber every day?"
Person 2: "Higginbotham's Constant in action, my friend..."

Person 1: "I was on jury duty the other day. Have you seen what the trash of society wears into a courtroom? How has society lost so much respect for anyone and anything else in just a few decades?"
Person 2: "Higginbotham strikes again..."

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