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Barty Crouch

A character in the Harry Potter universe, thought to be fictional until he surfaced on facebook, apparently seeking his master Lord Voldemort. Assumed dead after receiving the Dementor's Kiss, Crouch was revealed to be alive and well, locked within the confines of Azkaban but convinced that he had located his erstwhile master at Pembroke College, Oxford, disguised as a fourth year student (as of 2009-10). Since identifying this student as his master, Crouch has risen to prominence in Pembroke society, antagonising students and facing an uncertain future after his 'master' refused to acknowledge him; indeed, it's believed Crouch has been reported to facebook authorities several times for numerous offences, including bullying, racism and sexual harrassment of his master.

Despite being unpopular with VoldeMort, Crouch has become 'friends' with many Pembrokians; he appears disinterested, though, his only correspondence with these pupils limited to petty insults (in slurs which normally relate to what he perceives as their inferior blood status).
Still convinced, though, that he has finally located his master at Pembroke College, Crouch shows no signs of wanting to disappear from the public eye.

"Who's this Barty Crouch guy? I added him as a friend, but he just keeps insulting me for being a Muggle."

"Barty Crouch keeps warning me to stay away from him."

"Crouch has apparently been reported to the facebook authorities for constantly requesting a relationship status with his master."

by concernedatbarty November 14, 2009


Celebratory Crouching

An action used commonly in the Halo video game series mainly during online multiplayer player play. Celebratory Crouching is normally seen as several pelvic thrusts/crouching motions into a recently killed halo player to humiliate ones death or to celebrate an unbelievable kill. While many find the action insulting during the game as it is oftenly confused with T-Bagging however it is perfectly acceptable to celebratory crouch on ones face or body in the game.

Dude look at me CELEBRATORY CROUCHING on this guys face!

by hamburgersyum August 19, 2011


Cinematic Crouch

That annoying stereotyped crouching pose that action movie characters take after landing on their feet from a height. Said character holds the pose long enough for the camera to show how cool they are.

Its been seen in too many movies to mention.

Guy 1: "Wow, dude! She just somersaulted off the building, beheaded the dragon, and finished with a cinematic crouch!"

Guy2: "Cool!"

by BioHazardX March 4, 2012

22๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


Crouching Soldier

Is a sexual position references by Ali G, though never clearly defined. The name suggests it is a version of doggie style done on a floor where the man is crouching rather than being on his knees.d

I escort I ordered last night was so hot, I had to do it right there on the floor when she came in and went straight into the crouching soldier when I saw her stick her thick booty up in the air.

by JasonJohnHorn July 3, 2009

80๐Ÿ‘ 10๐Ÿ‘Ž


crouch butter

When you have sex with a girl on her period, and she cums; the blended mixture of cum and period blood

Hey bro, is that ketchup on yo pants?

Nah main, just a lil crouch butter- ain't no thang.

by Crouch Butter August 8, 2015


Crouching Caesar

The act of squatting over someone's head, facing their feet and shitting in their mouth while simultaneously vomiting on their genitals.

On the days of Ancient Rome, the senators would oft perform the "Crouching Caesar" on their spouses after a fine feast.

by roblund March 7, 2007

26๐Ÿ‘ 5๐Ÿ‘Ž


Crouch spamming

Only defined by one word gay

This crouch spamming ash main just killed me aka the gay ash main killed me

by D4hsh March 19, 2021