Turtle dick

Someone that takes a long time to get an erection

"did you sleep with tom last night?"
"no, he had a turtle dick."

dick turtle

When it's cold outside and your dick becomes very small, like a turtle retracting its head when there's danger outside.
Used as a verb

"Damn! When I took a plunge in that pool and came out, my dick turtled on me and scared the shit outta me!"
"Thank god there were no women to witness it!"