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beanie enlightenment

when you discover where the beanies congregate

first theorised by buddist monks within the shanghai region and later confirmed by a research team lead by Isaac Rizzton, Charles Darrizz and Neil deGrizz Tyson

they found strong correlations between building subjects and the beanie population within the immediate vicinity

for example: physics has a 1:0 building to beanie ratio, however social studies ratio tends to infinity for the latter, limited only by the size of the building

Oscar: "went into the english building for the first time in a year and i think i made a wrong turn cause i ended up at beanie boulevard"
Tay: "i already know" *blows dust off old book and flips to blank page* "beanie enlightenment"
"have you got a pen i can borrow?"
Oscar: "yeman"
Tay:*writes Oscar's name into the ancient scripture*
Oscar: *Ascends*
Tay:"my time has come" *fades away*

by #needmeabeanie January 26, 2023


Period of Enlightenment

The brief stretch of time just after a good morning shit, coinciding with ones morning coffee kicking in, that is characterized by peak mental illumination and a deep sense of physical bliss.

Jake waltzed out onto the deck, took a deep breath of the crisp morning air, plopped down in a recliner, kicked his feet up over the deck railing, clicked open the e-magazine on his iPad, took another sip of coffee, gazed off into nothingness, and sighed deeply as he entered his period of enlightenment.

by SpacemanSpiff1969 October 16, 2012


Spiritual enlightenment

Spiritual enlightenment is the discovery of a whole dimension of yourself hidden in plain sight that you had never experienced before: your true Self. This dimension is not perceivable with the senses because it’s not within the field of your awareness. Instead, it is the source and ground of your awareness itself.

Therefore, you can’t know this dimension with the mind. You can only know it by being it, which activates a dormant cognitive device far superior to the mind. This is achieved by forgoing all mental distractions and allowing every bit of your awareness to return to its source. Because when the full weight of your attention rests idly on its ground, a sinkhole opens up into this dimension and you become your true Self.

The inexpressible knowledge that you gain by being your Self is so astonishingly clear, certain, and revealing that it blows your mind and shatters all your previous ideas and conceptions of reality. This knowledge affords a vantage point from which you realize that while everything that you perceive (i.e. your mind, your body, and the entire physical universe) is transitory and ephemeral, your true Self exists absolutely, beyond time and space, always here and always now.

Furthermore, being your Self brings with it an unshakeable state of peace and fulfillment that is completely indescribable; a glorious state in which being, knowing, and loving are one and the same. Because in that state, all is one, and your Self is all that exists.

A: Yesterday I reached spiritual enlightenment.
B: What do you mean?
C: I mean that I realized who I AM.

by fcrcf September 12, 2015

46πŸ‘ 4πŸ‘Ž


The Enlightenment of Alexander

A very kinky LGBT erotic romance novel written by author B Q Hanson that involves plenty of BDSM. It's closely similar to Fifty Shades of Grey except it's about two college roommates who have tons of kinky sex as well as the protagonist copying several major characteristics about the other main character to live like him.

Example 1:

Person 1: I sure wish somebody would love who I am so much that they would like to live like me.

Person 2: Read The Enlightenment of Alexander

Example 2:

Person 1: We should get a little freaky tonight.

Person 2: Do you mean freaky like The Enlightenment of Alexander freaky?

by Fifty Shades of College June 23, 2018

37πŸ‘ 3πŸ‘Ž


hipster enlightenment

n., a state of pure hipsterdom in which a hipster realizes that all things, including life itself, are mainstream and originality is a virtual impossibility

Hipster #1: "What happened to Alphonse?"
Hipster #2: "He died after achieving hipster enlightenment last week"
Hipster #1: "Death is so mainstream"
Hipster #2: "Original Hipster be praised!"

by Scottsifer July 9, 2011

15πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


Question of enlightenment

A question asked by someone where said question causes a lot of thinking to occur, almost on a spiritual level. You'll know you're being hit with a question of enlightenment when it brings forth an extreme sensation of awe. These questions have been witnessed before in popular media, but the term has been left undefined until now. These questions help increase humanity's understanding of its' environment as well as itself.

Trevor in GTA5 once asked a vegan woman, "You don't eat meat by you'll eat c**k?". This is a very good example of a question of enlightenment. Another example not from media would be "how can a lesbian be a lesbian if they like strap on dildos?".

by Skanago:g January 9, 2017


Enlightened Asshole

A thoughtful, compassionate individual whose words and / or actions are indistinguishable from those of a self-centered idiot.

EXAMPLE 1:
That guy is such an enlightened asshole sometimes! He calls himself a friend, but seems to think that it is funny that I am loosing my job at BP and will have to go back to teaching. I hate my job, but that doesn't mean that I was ready to look for another one!

EXAMPLE 2:
Every day when I get off work -- all I want is a cold beer or two, but my girlfriend has to ask shit like "Does beer really make you happy?"... sure it makes me happy... for about an hour... damn, she can be such an enlightened asshole sometimes.

EXAMPLE 3:
My vegetarian co-worker had point out that there was "dead animals" in my chinese chicken salad today -- that enlightened asshole ruined my appetite!

EXAMPLE 4:
(a statement which might be attributed to an enlightened asshole)
"Yes, the hurricane destroyed most of the city, but perhaps the survivors will have an opportunity to start fresh and make positive changes in their life."

EXAMPLE 5:
(a statement which might be attributed to an enlightened asshole)
"Littering is not bad... creating trash however is destroying the earth. Perhaps we should let trash fall on the streets rather than allowing it to be hidden inside trash bins and landfills. This would at least remind us all daily of the destruction we are taking part in."

by Guru Crossly April 4, 2012

16πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž