I shit you not

When you say something unbelievable but true.

Josh: Did you know that Bernard proposed to Kayla?
James: No way, they only met a week ago.
Josh: I shit you not, they're engaged!

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i shit trains

To shit trains typically means you are the shit. It can also correlate to being number one at everything. Often times used for upping a Mister One Upper, or someone who has to beat you at every event, activity, or story you've ever encountered.

John: I went to France.
Tim: I went to France 3 times.
John: I SHIT TRAINS NIGGA! NOW WHAT?!

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I shit you not

The expression means I am being honest.

john:I just saw Barbra Bush running naked on T.V
Lou: No fucking way
John: I shit you not

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i shit myself

this is what you say when you shit yourself

guy 1: i shit myself

guy 2: same

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I Shit You Not

When some one tells the truth about something usually unbeleivable.

guy 1 - i just laid your mom

guy 2 - wtf!! seriously?

guy 1 - i shit you not my friend...

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I have to shit

What you say when you have to shit.
(Usually happens in a bathroom on a toilet)

Dude 1: I have to shit
Dude 2: Thats good to know..

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I shit you not

A phrase typically, but not always, used in conversation; can also be used in response to a fact, or its opposite, in media; the appropriate response to any sentence including any variation of the descriptor 'bullshit', when the word 'shit' is being used as a verb, and the preceding perceived assertion or premise reflects a known truth or fact. Also used as its reverse as a prank, to generate belief in something patently false and normally unbelievable.

You: Idaho is a state in the USA? You're shitting me!

Them: I shit you not! It's a state!

You: I thought it was an invention of the corn industry.

Them: You're shitting me.

You: I shit you not! ... yeah, I'm shitting you, you numbfuck.