i have no idea

The ultimate fucking answer to every single question in the universe. Seriously. Try it.

What can be used on any question in the universe? I have no idea.

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I have no friends

When all your friends think they're too cool for you and leave you.

(Talking to self): Joe and Bob decided I am so bad at making jokes that i'm not good enough so I have no friends.

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I have a goldfish

What you say when a girl says "I have a boyfriend."

girl - "I have a boyfriend."

guy - "I have a goldfish."

girl - "what?"

Guy - "Oh I thought we were talking about stuff that didn't matter."

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I have Prime

Phrase you use to justify your compulsive buying disorder on Amazon. (You pay for a monthly membership so you have to keep buying stuff right?)

Wife: "Honey, I'm worried about how much you are spending on Amazon, do we really needed another set of knives and color changing light bulbs? also they keyboard has been working fine why did you order a new one?
Husband: "Don't worry honey, I have Prime"

I have a family

Something people say when they are in a life threatening situation

Please don't shoot, I have a family, look (pulls out wallet)

i have time

When you’re in the mood to debate/argue about any topic.

Did you hear what he just said?
Yes, and I have time today.

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I have a boyfriend

A response for when a guy is being normal and friendly

Matt: "Hey, how's it going"
Jess: "Uhm excuse me, I have a boyfriend"

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